Millennials and Worship

Image Credit: David Ball

My social media news feeds have been bombarded over the last few months with similar stories: "How to Get Millennials In Church," "Why Millennials are Leaving the Church," "What Millennials Want from Worship." In a similar way, so many conversations at clergy gatherings bring up the conversation "What do young people want from the church?"

I can't speak for other young adults. I know my experience, and the things that resonate with me and my friends. And what I know is this: I am tired of this conversation.

After listening to a fantastic presentation about the ways that the culture around the church is changing, an audience member raised her hand with a question. Her congregation was having the debate about the best way to attract young adults: should they have traditional or contemporary music? Here is my expert, millennial opinion on that question: I don't care.

No really. I don't care whether you use an organ or drums, whether you have a seven piece band or a thirty member choir, whether you sing something written five hundred years ago or five years ago. I don't want to save your church. I don't want a worship service designed just for me.

What do Millennials want? In truth, if you ask 100 different young adults you will get 100 different answers. I have my personal worship & music preferences. But they are not reflective of anyone in my generation but me -- and more importantly, they are secondary when it comes to finding a worshiping community. "What style of music" is not the question I care most about. As Tripp Hudgins points out, it's not the point.

Here's what I care about: When I walk into your church building on Sunday, does it feel like a real, loving community? When you worship together - is that worship a reflection of who you really are? Are you passionate about the faith that you share?

Quit trying to be things you are not. Don't try to be just like that mega-church down the road. Don't try to be like the cathedral downtown. Don't try to be like the campus ministry or the camp ministry.

Be you. Be the very best you. Small church or large. Aging members or younger. Contemporary or traditional or somewhere in-between. Be you. Not for the sake of who might possibly come, not to attract other sorts of people, but because that is who God has called you to be. Church: God has called you to be fully yourselves, because God loves you. 

Be passionate. Whatever the "style" you worship in, throw all of your energy and heart into it. The words that we say and sing on Sunday -- if we believe them -- are the most important and meaningful words in life. Say them and sing them like you mean them. Because if you aren't passionate about what you say on Sunday morning, why in the world would anyone else care?

Be loving. I missed the time Jesus lectured the disciples about worship style. But I seem to remember some pretty strong words about love.

If you fill the room with love, no one will ever care what sounds are filling the room. Fill the room with love. Love for the community as it is right now. Love for new friends who walk through the door. Love for the community in which the congregation is located. Fill the room with love.

Be you. Be passionate. Be loving. 


I would love to continue the conversation with you on facebook and twitter! 

Seen & Not Heard

Here's my frustration: I want to encourage the church. I want to point out all of the things that are going great, all the things that we are doing right. I want to praise the way we are bringing Christ into the world. But.

But sometimes, the church is just ridiculous. And to be clear, I am not talking about the congregation where I serve, although we have our moments, too. I am talking about the church - all of us - the body of Christ. 

In almost every church I that I have had any sort of contact with, I have heard some variation on the same concern: "There aren't enough children. We need more kids in Sunday School. The Youth Group is too small." Sound familiar? Church councils sit around, thinking of what the pastor needs to do to get kids in church. The older members complain about parents who don't bring their kids to church. We talk about all sorts of things ... none of which is actually the problem.

Want to know the problem? Here it is, in a nutshell. A few weeks ago, I walked into a church to preach and saw this sign:

I don't post this to shame this one congregation. The truth is that many congregations, without being as explicit about it, still have this attitude lurking under the surface. The people who complain about the kids who talk during the sermon. The stares we give to the parents of fidgety children. We want kids in the church, but "Children should be seen and not heard" ... and we aren't too sure that they should be seen.

Come on, church! We can do better!

We wonder why our churches are graying. We wonder why our Sunday School rooms sit empty. We wonder what happened to all the families with young children. It's really simple: they got the message. They heard us loud and clear.

We need worship services where children are free to be ... well, children. That means sometimes they will be loud, sometimes they will need to move around and play and fidget. Because that is what children do.

We need churches where parents feel comfortable coming with their little ones; not ashamed or nervous. 

If we are going to have churches that have children in them, then those children and their parents should be made to feel welcome. Totally and completely welcome, just as they are. 

Let's be clear: if we don't change this, there will not be a church in a generation.