Want to Get Married?

Weddings are expensive.

That's the wisdom, and the research backs it up. The average cost of a wedding in the United States is almost $30,000! And remember - that's just the average. Lots of people are spending a whole lot more than that.

Each year, more and more couples postpone their wedding - they think they just can't afford it. Even if you have the money for a big wedding, it is an easy choice. You can make a very nice down payment on a house and start your life together - or you can have a big wedding. And for many people, it just isn't even an option. The money simply isn't there.

There are lots of ways to cut some of those costs - having just gotten married myself, I know what it looks like to count pennies for a wedding service.

But even more than cutting costs, I want you to know this: You do not have to have the big wedding. 

The wedding ceremony itself is fairly simple and has zero cost associated with it. Some vows. Some prayers. Some blessings. None of the expensive stuff we have built up around weddings is required. None of it. Expensive dresses that you only wear once. Tuxedos. Rings. Fancy invitations. Limousines.

You don't need all of the expensive extras to have a wedding. 

Vows. Prayers. Blessing. End of story.

In fact, a wedding service is really about the community. Saying your vows before God and the community of faith. Theologically it's not a private party, but a public event - a public worship service.

So here is my invitation to you:
Come and get married at Prairie Hill, during Sunday worship. No cost. 

Don't let cost keep you from getting married. Don't get caught up in all of the extras that have become a part of the wedding industry. God, community, and your beloved. What else do you need?

If you have been waiting until you have enough money, if you have been putting it off because you can't afford it, then come and say your vows to your beloved before God. Let us ask for God's blessing on your life together.

(Image copyright churchart.com, used with permission) 

Epicenter of Matrimony: Wedding Sermon

Finally! Bishop Mike Rinehart's sermon from the Epicenter of Matrimony wedding service. Extremely grateful for his words on that wonderful day.

Special thanks to Christopher Harris, who took care of our livestream for us. About 30 seconds of the sermon got dropped out, because the service we were using (not Chris!) reset the stream toward the end of the sermon. (If you were watching at home, this was one of the times that the stream cut out).

It was an awesome sermon. Enjoy.

And So It Begins ...

In certain circles I am known as a bit of a social media enthusiast. I think is is an important way for churches, clergy, and others to communicate not just with each other but with the world. I live out my life in the public eye: both in real life as the pastor of a congregation in a small town, and on social media.

And yet, last week I was scooped on social media. On Thursday, Megan Dosher (@megateer) and I made our engagement official. She also is an avid user of social media in various forms, but it was not her. No, it was Megan's mother who had posted the news of our engagement to Facebook within minutes of getting off of the phone with us. 

And thus began what will be a very public engagement and wedding. Megan and I followed her mother's suit, and shared the news on both Facebook and Twitter (our primary social media networks). And we plan on this trend continuing. We have every intention of using social media to the fullest as we plan and celebrate our marriage.

Why? There are two primary reasons. (1) We both live very public lives. Certainly in regard to our chosen professions, we are in the public eye. Especially in a small town. And we embrace that facet of our life - it is a part of who we are. In fact, it is a good thing! Living life publicly (with good boundaries, of course) encourages a life that is transparent and authentic. 

(2) We believe that a wedding is a public event. It involves not just the couple, but as an act of the church it involves the whole body of Christ. In Christian marriage, we call on the faithful to support, pray for, and hold accountable the relationship that is blessed in marriage. And for Megan and I, that is not just the people who gather in our congregations on Sunday mornings. It is also our friends and loved ones on social media - with whom we converse, pray, learn, and worship. We want to include them in the public witness of our marriage.

And so, the journey begins. There will be updates here, on our respective facebook and twitter accounts, and who knows where else. Please feel free to follow along, join the conversation, and share in our joy!

Last fall, I had the privilege of being an advanced reader on Meredith Gould's Getting #Married: Using Social Media to Celebrate the Sacred. Megan & I have both read and earmarked this book, and recommend it to others considering using social media in planning and celebrating their wedding.

A Wedding Sermon

Wedding sermons are unique - they are sort of like a conversation between the pastor and the couple, but a conversation when you know that everyone else is listening in and you are also speaking to them. This was the conversation I had with William and Jennifer on the occasion of their wedding at St. John - Prairie Hill. Texts for the day were Genesis 2:18-24, Colossians 3:12-17, and John 15:9-12.

Grace and peace to you in the name of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.


It really is a joy to be here today, gathered with you, William and Jennifer, and surrounded here by all of your family and friends. It is one of the privileges of my job that I am invited to be a part of celebrations like this – and I thank you for inviting me to be a part of this special day.

After the service today, when everyone is gone, I will go back to my office, and I will sign this piece of paper (Hold up Marriage License). Apparently there was some question about whether you would remember to get this on time. I don’t know, that’s just what I was told.

But this is your marriage license. It was given to you by the state of Texas, and I will send it back to the state of Texas. Everyone who has been married in Texas has one of these.
Some folks have it in a nice frame, up on the wall somewhere in their house.
Some might have it in a lock box with other important documents to keep it safe.
Maybe some are like the lawyer who had his marriage license out and was reading it one night, when his wife asked him what he was doing. He said, “Looking for a loophole.”


Regardless of what you do with this piece of paper, I want to tell you a secret; you know, just between the three of us …

It’s just a piece of paper. Really. That’s all.
This piece of paper is not a marriage.
In fact, everything we are doing today is not a marriage. Don’t get me wrong, this is a great day. It is wonderful to be in this place, with all these people, witnessing your vows to one another. This place where grandparents said their vows, and where parents said their vows – it is good to be here.

But as good as it is to be here, don’t get confused: this is a wedding, not a marriage.

What makes a marriage is what comes next.

What makes a marriage is what you do tomorrow, and the next day, and the following weeks and months and years.

For many weddings, the couple will look at my list of recommended readings and say, “Pastor, you just choose something.” Or they’ll use First Corinthians chapter 13, because it is what is used at everyone else’s wedding, right? And that’s fine for those people. But not for William & Jennifer.

We talked quite a bit about what readings would be most appropriate today. What would express the life that they want to live together. And I am glad we settled on what we did today, Especially that Gospel lesson from Saint John.

Especially that one little bit – the bit that often gets cut out of wedding services: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends.” As we talked about it, the question was asked, “Surely that’s not appropriate for a wedding?”
And the answer is: few things could be more appropriate.

Because here is the truth: Chances are that you will never be asked to give up your life for your spouse. But, you will have to give up yourself for your spouse.
Marriage is not a piece of paper, it is a gift.

Jennifer, today you will give yourself to William.
And William, today you will give yourself to Jennifer.

Those are the words that we used as we began this service: William, will you give yourself to Jennifer, to share your life with her? And Jennifer, will you give yourself to William, to share your life with him?

Marriage is a gift, the gift of yourself, of your life. And it is not just today.

Every day from here forward, you must continue to give yourselves to one another. That is a marriage.

It means letting go of petty fights about who is right and who is wrong.
It means putting your spouse’s interests – their wants and desires and happiness – ahead of your own.
It means, William, that Jennifer’s happiness is more important than yours.
And it means, before you smile about that to much, Jennifer, that William’s happiness is more important than yours. That is a marriage.

That is precisely what Jesus means when he gives his disciples their one and only commandment, to love one another. That is what Paul means, when he tells us to be clothed in love. That is what means to become one flesh, forever joined together.

You are each your wedding gift to one another. And your marriage is the gift of continuing to give yourselves to one another.

A warning. It must be both of you, and it must be a decision you continue to make every day.

And with that gift to each other, with that shared love, I know that you will have a marriage that will last through the ages, and stand as a witness to all of the love of God. God bless you.

But that’s enough of me talking; let’s get to the main event. William and Jennifer, I invite you to come and begin the adventure of your marriage by declaring your vows to one another here in the presence of God and of God’s people.