Earlier this week, I sent a letter to the members of St. John Lutheran Church, announcing my new call as the Pastor of Spirit of Joy! Lutheran Church. Portions of that letter follow:
Dear family of St. John,
It is with a mix of joy and sadness that I write to share the news that I have accepted a call to serve as the Pastor Redeveloper of Spirit of Joy! Lutheran Church in The Woodlands.
Megan and I have been praying about this decision and the future of St. John. This call is an exciting opportunity for our family and the right choice for our life together. As we look at the paths ahead of us as a family, it is the right time and opportunity for us to relocate. As a congregation in redevelopment, Spirit of Joy! is a great fit for my particular gifts and strengths in ministry. My last Sunday as the Pastor of St. John Lutheran Church will be May 4th, 2014.
In 2006, you took a chance on an untested Pastor straight out of seminary. In the eight years that followed we shared our lives with one another, and Prairie Hill became my home. We shared in joy – celebrating baptisms and confirmations, marriages and new jobs. We shared in sorrows – celebrating the lives of the saints at funerals, talking through the difficulties of life.
We have accomplished much over the last eight years. Together we have grown the ministry of St. John and seen glimpses of the Kingdom here. You have taught me much about the Gospel, the love of God, and what it means to be a community of faith. I could not have asked for a better first call experience than what I had at St. John. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
While I am not your pastor any longer, I am certainly your friend. I will continue to pray for you individually and as a congregation – and I hope that you will pray for me and my family and the ministry at Spirit of Joy! Lutheran Church.
With my deepest gratitude and love,
David Hansen
Showing posts with label Ordained Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ordained Ministry. Show all posts
Review: "Pastrix" by Nadia Bolz-Weber
Pastor Nadia does not put on a false front -- you get Nadia, 100%, in every encounter. Authenticity pervades her ministry -- whether online, in print, or (I would expect) in person. Pastrix is quite simply the most heartbreakingly, joyfully honest book I have read in a very long time. I can't remember the last time a book evoked as much raw emotion from me as Pastrix has. I laughed and cried throughout this book. It is beautiful.
And, you probably should not buy this book, especially if you:
- think Christians should have it all pulled together, know all the answers, and never seem flawed.
- think the F-word is extremely offensive. (No really, make no mistake. Nadia curses with frequency, creativity, and conviction).
- use the word "liberal" as an insult.
- are offended by the idea that God might invite gay and lesbian people fully into the life of the church.
- think Christians ought to most resemble June and Ward Cleaver.
- have a perfect life, never have any doubts, and are suspicious of anyone who is not the same.
I mean this in all honesty; Pastrix is probably not for everyone. In fact, I know lots of good, church-going people who will be angry about this book, who will not like this book, and (if they read it) will be outraged at everything that Nadia's ministry represents.
I wish that were not the case. I wish we could hear. I wish we were not so caught up in comfortable cultural norms that prevent us from hearing the Good News of God's love in ways that speak loudest to those on the outside. I wish we could see more clearly how Jesus loved and welcomed misfits and troublemakers, and would do the same in our lives.
But, I think it's okay that not everyone will enjoy or "like" this book. Pastor Nadia's ministry at House for All Sinners and Saints has never been about adhering to a traditional model of church. It has been a community for people who don't fit in anywhere else, who are not always welcomed into more traditional churches.
So maybe this book is for you, especially if you:
- have ever been hurt by people who say "Everyone is Welcome" but don't really mean it.
- struggle with your failures and flaws and shortcomings.
- consider yourself a person of faith, or maybe a person considering faith, but you are wary of the church.
- want -- or need -- a God who is all about second chances.
- If you are looking for the Shepherd who will come into the dark and broken places of life, this book is for you.
At the end of the day, Pastrix is not a book about Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber. Pastrix is a memoir of grace -- and not grace that is polished and cleaned up so that it can be put on a shelf and admired.
Pastrix is not about grace "in theory." Pastor Nadia's story, her friends' stories, and stories of members at House for All Sinners and Saints reveal gritty, real grace. A story of grace that shows up at rock bottom, in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, in the broken places of life. A story of grace that does not wait for us to become good or perfect or nice, that does not wait for us come to church, but instead comes and finds us where we are.
Pastrix is not about grace "in theory." Pastor Nadia's story, her friends' stories, and stories of members at House for All Sinners and Saints reveal gritty, real grace. A story of grace that shows up at rock bottom, in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, in the broken places of life. A story of grace that does not wait for us to become good or perfect or nice, that does not wait for us come to church, but instead comes and finds us where we are.
Pastrix is a book that I will read over and over again, because I need to be reminded of who I am, and reminded that God does not give up on any of us.
(Order Pastrix on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or support local booksellers and purchase it in a brick and mortar store)
(Order Pastrix on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or support local booksellers and purchase it in a brick and mortar store)
The Hardest Part of Ministry
I am an ordained pastor, serving a rural congregation. I lead worship and preach most Sundays. I sit at hospital beds. I conduct weddings and funerals and baptisms. I talk with people who are struggling with their faith. I lead meetings and help the community discover its vision. I celebrate with people, I rejoice with people.
But while the tasks of ministry aren't finite, those of us in ministry most certainly are!
When people talk to me about what I do, they often focus on those aspects that deal with death. Most Americans don't spend a lot of time around death - our culture has largely sanitized the experience of death. Because of this unfamiliarity, most people assume that dealing with death is the hardest thing about being a pastor. It's not.
The hardest part of being a pastor is saying no.
Not just saying no when asked by someone to do some task, but saying no to yourself and limiting the amount of work that you do. The work of ministry is not a finite task. At the end of the day when I go home, I can't point to some finished product and say, "That's what I did today." There is always more to be done in ministry.
There is always more to be done. No matter how much you have done in a given day or week or month:
- You can always spend more time visiting with people who are sick and homebound.
- You can always spend more time talking with people who are grieving or hurting.
- You can always spend more time at community events.
- You can always spend more time reading, studying, and praying.
- You can always put yourself in charge of one more project or program.
- You can always spend more time crafting and sharpening your preaching and worship leadership skills.
Short of the return of our Lord Jesus, there will always be more for those in ministry to do - some task will always be left unfinished when you stop working for the day.
There is a great satisfaction that comes with knowing that tasks have been finished, knowing that everything is complete. And for most people, it is uncomfortable to know that things are unfinished. But that is precisely the nature of ministry - unfinished.
But while the tasks of ministry aren't finite, those of us in ministry most certainly are!
There comes a point when we have to stop. At some point, even if we could spend more time visiting, or reading, or teaching, or planning, we have to go home and be done for the day. We come to the point where we have to say, to ourselves or to others, "No, I can't do that."
As pastors, we do this work because we think it is important. We are passionate about the Gospel, and we care about the people whom we serve. And this makes it hard to say "No." This passion for our work is precisely what makes it hard to say that there is not time for another program or project or meeting.
Unfortunately for many in ministry, the first thing to go is self-care: being rested, spending time with family, caring for our own souls. Next to go is often the work behind the scenes: the hard work of keeping oneself prepared for ministry -- reading, attending learning events, all the things pastors and others in ministry do to make us better preachers, counselors, leaders, and pastors.
And this is how burnout happens.
In ministry it often feels like the solution is to work more. The voice in our head says that if only I could work for a couple more hours, then the ministry of the congregation I serve would be more effective. But the opposite is true. An overworked pastor - one who does not set limits - becomes more and more ineffective at the work to which we are called.
This is the reality of living in this in-between time; when the work of the kingdom has begun but the kingdom has not yet come. No matter how much we do, the work of the kingdom will remain unfinished - and there is only one who can finish it.
If you are a ministry professional, learn this lesson well: Say no. Set limits. Learn to live in that place where there is more that could be done, and some tasks are unfinished.
And if you have a pastor or other minister who you care about, encourage them to say no - encourage them to care for themselves, to set limits, and continue to make time to study and learn.
Image: Antique Clock Face by Chris Willis (licensed Creative Commons-attribution)
The Secret of Ministry
There is one fact of ministry that cannot be emphasized enough.
We talk about the long hours pastors work, and the tendency for burnout. We talk about how congregations and pastors can work together better. We talk about educational requirements, and skills.
But there is the one fact that matters most. One fact that we don't talk about enough, and which not enough people realize: We (pastors) love you.
Every pastor I know deeply loves the people he or she has been called to serve and deeply loves the church. Deeply. We don't do this work because of the pay; we don't do it because of the "prestige" or "authority" of the pastoral office; we don't do it because we think it is holier than other work.
We do it because we love the people we serve and we love the church. Whether a senior pastor or an associate, whether a rector or a bishop, whether a chaplain or a preacher, everyone who is in ministry is in it because we love the people. (See my advice for new pastors).
This week, the Rev. Elizabeth Eaton was elected as the Presiding Bishop of the ELCA; which means that the Rev. Mark Hanson will no longer be serving in that role. Bishops in particular are subjected to a scrutiny and a second guessing of their motives. What agenda are they pushing? What is the real reason they make certain decisions?
This picture, taken by Brett Nelson in the evening after that election, sums up the truth of the matter: like all other pastors, our leaders love the people whom they serve and they love the church. I think every pastor has had this moment.
Thank you, Bishop Hanson, for loving the people.
Photo by Brett Nelson, used with permission.
We talk about the long hours pastors work, and the tendency for burnout. We talk about how congregations and pastors can work together better. We talk about educational requirements, and skills.
But there is the one fact that matters most. One fact that we don't talk about enough, and which not enough people realize: We (pastors) love you.
Every pastor I know deeply loves the people he or she has been called to serve and deeply loves the church. Deeply. We don't do this work because of the pay; we don't do it because of the "prestige" or "authority" of the pastoral office; we don't do it because we think it is holier than other work.
We do it because we love the people we serve and we love the church. Whether a senior pastor or an associate, whether a rector or a bishop, whether a chaplain or a preacher, everyone who is in ministry is in it because we love the people. (See my advice for new pastors).
This week, the Rev. Elizabeth Eaton was elected as the Presiding Bishop of the ELCA; which means that the Rev. Mark Hanson will no longer be serving in that role. Bishops in particular are subjected to a scrutiny and a second guessing of their motives. What agenda are they pushing? What is the real reason they make certain decisions?
This picture, taken by Brett Nelson in the evening after that election, sums up the truth of the matter: like all other pastors, our leaders love the people whom they serve and they love the church. I think every pastor has had this moment.
Thank you, Bishop Hanson, for loving the people.
Photo by Brett Nelson, used with permission.
Restart, Restore, Reboot!
For some reason, people often come to me when they have problems with their technology (I can't imagine why, can you?).
They will run down the list of things they have tried. They are exasperated. The are out of options. And 9 times out of 10, my answer is the same: "Turn it off, then turn it back on."
Sometimes, our technology gets tired. It gets jammed up with too many tasks running at once. And the best thing you can do is restart the device, and let it reboot. More often than not, it is as simple as that. Your laptop, iPad, smartphone, tablet, etc, needs to reboot. The software needs to shut completely down and get a new start.
And your pastor is kind of like your laptop.
I just got back from two Sundays away from congregation that I serve. For one week I was leading / participating in a continuing education event, and for the other week I was on vacation with my family.
For two weeks, I did not preach. I did not attend any congregational meetings, or respond to any crises. My phone did not ring with all sorts of requests for information or time. I focused on the continuing education event while I was there, and I focused on my family when I was there.
On the day I got back into the office I outlined 3 sermons, 5 blog posts / newsletter articles, and started work on the confirmation program for the Fall (and of course, caught up on the email and phone messages). I had more ideas than I could keep up with. My system needed a restart, and once I got that I was back at full speed.
So here's the deal. If you are a member of a church, encourage your pastors to take all their allotted vacation and continuing education time every year. Even to take at least two Sundays in a row at least once a year, in order to fully reboot. When your pastors return, they will be more energetic, creative, excited, and passionate. At the end of the day, it is the congregation that benefits most when pastors take their vacation.
How can you do that? How can you help your pastor to take the vacation time and reboot?
And of course, if you are a pastor TAKE YOUR VACATION. Being a workaholic is not helping your ministry. Go and rest. Go and be restored. Hit the restart button.
Every so often, pastors have to reboot, restart, and be restored.
They will run down the list of things they have tried. They are exasperated. The are out of options. And 9 times out of 10, my answer is the same: "Turn it off, then turn it back on."
Sometimes, our technology gets tired. It gets jammed up with too many tasks running at once. And the best thing you can do is restart the device, and let it reboot. More often than not, it is as simple as that. Your laptop, iPad, smartphone, tablet, etc, needs to reboot. The software needs to shut completely down and get a new start.
And your pastor is kind of like your laptop.
I just got back from two Sundays away from congregation that I serve. For one week I was leading / participating in a continuing education event, and for the other week I was on vacation with my family.
For two weeks, I did not preach. I did not attend any congregational meetings, or respond to any crises. My phone did not ring with all sorts of requests for information or time. I focused on the continuing education event while I was there, and I focused on my family when I was there.
On the day I got back into the office I outlined 3 sermons, 5 blog posts / newsletter articles, and started work on the confirmation program for the Fall (and of course, caught up on the email and phone messages). I had more ideas than I could keep up with. My system needed a restart, and once I got that I was back at full speed.
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| Yup. On vacation we visited churches What a couple of geeks ;) |
How can you do that? How can you help your pastor to take the vacation time and reboot?
- Make sure your pastor is allotted enough vacation every year. Don't make your pastor ask for vacation; instead be an advocate for your pastor at congregational meetings and council/board/vestry meetings.
- Ask what needs to be done while the pastor is gone. Oftentimes there are a myriad of little tasks every week that can be easily handed off. Make sure that the pastor knows that they are taken care of.
- Attend worship. Seriously. When your pastor is gone, make sure to be in worship. Pastors worry about the congregations we serve, because we love our congregations. We want the members of the churches we serve to worship, and it can be hard to leave town knowing that your absence will be a reason for much of the congregation to stay away.
- Don't call. Pastor's often do work related stuff around the clock. Phone calls, emails, text messages, and other conversations happen non-stop in the life of a pastor. And it's great - we love to hear from you. We love to hear about your life and everything that is going on. But when we are on vacation, pastors need to unplug from it all and get a little break. If it can wait until after vacation, then wait.
- Extra credit! Do you have a vacation home, timeshare weeks, etc? Offer them to your pastor when you aren't using them. For many pastors, cost is a big factor in not taking vacation. If you have a way to help with that, your pastor would most often deeply appreciate it.
And of course, if you are a pastor TAKE YOUR VACATION. Being a workaholic is not helping your ministry. Go and rest. Go and be restored. Hit the restart button.
Every so often, pastors have to reboot, restart, and be restored.
What Does A Pastor Do? (Preschooler Edition)
On the way to school daughter asked me to tell her preschool class about my job. <shiver>
Doesn't seem like a big deal to you? Here are the factors to think about.
The attention span and comprehension of 5 year olds. A mix of backgrounds - some may be religious, but statistically most would not be. The concept of "God" may be a meaningless word to them. A desire to be respectful of teachers and parents who may come from different faith backgrounds - I am a guest, after all. And then, the thought that a child may feel left out or excluded or different by their families religious practices (or lack thereof) - and the last thing you want to do is make a 5 year old feel bad; it sure isn't their fault!
So in I went, and here is what I said.
Because I was wearing clericals (a shock, I know) I talked some about uniforms, and how this is my uniform so that people who need a pastor can find one. Then I moved on to what I do.
I explained the job of a pastor as consisting of three primary things.
- As a a pastor, I get to tell people about and teach about what I believe is the most important and exciting thing in the world. Every day, I get to share the things that make me happier than anything else in the world. What makes you happy?
- As a pastor, I get to spend time with people when life is hard and help them to feel better. So when people are sad, or hurt, or sick, or upset they ask me to come be with them and help them feel better. Has anyone ever helped you to feel better?
- As a pastor, I get to spend time with people during the happiest times of their lives and help them to celebrate. So, when I baby is born, and at weddings, and at birthdays - all of the best and happiest times of life - pastors get to help people to celebrate. What have been some of the times you have had fun celebrating?
Preaching. Comforting. Celebrating.
So, ok, there is more to pastoring than that. But it's not a bad summary for a preschool audience. In fact, it's not a bad summary of the Christian life of discipleship.
Proclaim - Comfort - Celebrate. Repeat as needed.
The Best Advice Ever
What do you say to someone who is thinking about seminary?
How can you encourage someone who might be called to ordained ministry?
Very often - for all the right reasons - those of us who love the church respond like vampires. Fresh blood! Quick, don't let it get away!
And so we encourage. "You really should go to seminary." "Parish ministry is awesome." We talk up the best parts of parish ministry (and there are lots of them) and we talk up the gifts of the person we are trying to encourage (which also may be many).
This is an important role to play. If you talk to anyone who is in ministry, chances are that countless people along the way encouraged them to consider seminary. With most clergy (although certainly not all), we experienced lots of affirmation of our gifts on the road to parish ministry. To be clear: For these encouragers and affirmers, I am deeply grateful. I would not be where I am without them.
But while listening to a recent Freakonomics podcast, I was reminded of the greatest advice I received on my road to ordination. It came from my Grandfather, in the last months of his life.
Grandpa Hansen was a pastor. 57 years of ordained ministry. He had served in the ULCA, the LCA, and the ELCA; he was a mission developer, a regularly called parish pastor, and an intentional interim. He was also a preacher's kid, growing up in parsonages as a child of the church. He was also the father of a pastor. Gramps knew the church.
Toward the very end of his life, Gramps had some short-term memory loss. He remembered my parents, but as we gathered for Sunday dinner I had to be re-introduced to him.
"This your grandson, David," said my Mom. "He's in seminary, preparing to be a pastor like you and Chris. Do you have any advice for him?"
Gramps looked up and thought for a moment, said, "Consider another line of work," then when back to eating his Sunday lunch.
The best advice I ever got in my preparation for ministry: "Consider another line of work."
Here is the truth:
If you are called to ordination, nothing else will make you feel as fulfilled as ordained ministry.
And if you are not called to ordination, nothing else will make you feel as miserable as ordained ministry.
And if you are not called to ordination, nothing else will make you feel as miserable as ordained ministry.
Consider another line of work.
Is there another way to live out your calling? Are there aspects of parish ministry that appeal to you, but others that you hate to think about? Consider another line of work.
Are you pursuing ordination to make someone else happy - parents, pastor, or others? Are you considering ordination because you "should"? Consider another line of work.
Often, our first reaction when someone pushes back against a feeling of being called to ministry is to get defensive. But the truth is, the pushback is necessary. Sit with the idea of doing something else. Give it serious consideration.
There are lots of important vocations (lived out to the glory of God, there are only important vocations). There are lots of ways to serve God. There are lots of ways to minister to God's people. Ordained parish ministry is just one.
I'm not saying you aren't called to ordained ministry. Maybe you are - truth is, I hope you are. But give thought to where your mission in the world is. What would you do if not ordained ministry? What would you pursue if not this? And if you did those things, would you be just as fulfilled as you would in parish ministry?
Are you thinking about seminary? Listen to the wisdom of Rodney Hansen: Consider another line of work. Rule out all other possibilities.
And if, having considered all other lines of work -- having ruled out all other options -- you discover that the call to ordained parish ministry still rings loudest in your heart, then jump in.
What about you? What is the best vocational / career advice you have ever received?
(Freakonomics Podcast, The Upside of Quitting, transcript and audio)
(Considering seminary? Here are some tools to begin the conversation. Talk with your pastor to explore your options.)
The Rough Life of a Commuter
Commuting to and from work is so rough.
I'm figuring out the video social network, Vine.
Are you on Vine? How are you using it?
Connect with me on Vine, too!
I'm figuring out the video social network, Vine.
Are you on Vine? How are you using it?
Connect with me on Vine, too!
5 Pieces of Advice for New Pastors
For the last year, I have served as Dean of my local conference. For those not in the ELCA, a conference is a small geographically defined division of the church. Among my responsibilities is the installation of pastors who are new to the area as they begin a new calls.
So I deal with pastors who are are starting in a new position in a congregation and community. I also deal with new pastors - pastors who are newly ordained and learning what it means to be a pastor in the parish. I get to think about what would be helpful for new pastors and people in new calls. Whether I am preaching an installation sermon or sitting down for coffee, I often get to ponder: What is the best advice for new pastors? As it happens, today as I sat down after noon midweek worship, I am watching the most widely publicized pastoral transition in the world -- there is white smoke, a new Pope has been elected.
So whether you are newly ordained, starting a new call, or just found out that the conclave elected you as Pope, here is my advice for a new pastor.
1) Love the people.
Welcome to your new call. First, love the people in your church on Sunday morning. They are strangers to you, you don't know their names yet. Sit and learn at their feet. Who are they? What matters to them? What are their values? What are their needs? Listen, listen, listen, and love your new people.
2) Love the people.
There are people who will peek around the church, checking you out. Will you be different from your predecessor? Will you be the same? Often they are hurt. Scarred. Damaged. Looking to see if you are a threat or a comfort. Love the hurting people.
3) Love the people.
Outside the doors of your church, there are lots of people. Some of them are potential members of your church. Many of them will never be members of your church. But they are your community. Get involved in the life of your community outside the sanctuary doors. Know how the community celebrates and how it hurts. Learn what the needs are in the community and where the broken people are. Get out in the the community, and love the people.
4) Love the people.
Soon. Maybe not your first Sunday, maybe not your second, but soon, there will be conflict. The honeymoon will end. Someone or a group will criticize your decisions and the way you do things. They may insult you and hurt your feelings. Your instinct will be to defend yourself, or even to fight back. Don't. Bite your tongue. Sit back and wait. Listen to the criticism, with grace and humility. Love the people, especially when they are hard to love.
5) Love the people.
Take care of yourself. As you jump into your new position, the tendency will be to try to do everything. If you are exhausted and spiritually drained, you are no help to anyone. Pay special attention to your prayer life. Pray for your congregation. Pray for your leaders. Pray for your community. And do not be afraid to ask them to pray for you! Do not be afraid to let them love you and take care of you. Love the people, and let them love you.
What advice would you add?
So I deal with pastors who are are starting in a new position in a congregation and community. I also deal with new pastors - pastors who are newly ordained and learning what it means to be a pastor in the parish. I get to think about what would be helpful for new pastors and people in new calls. Whether I am preaching an installation sermon or sitting down for coffee, I often get to ponder: What is the best advice for new pastors? As it happens, today as I sat down after noon midweek worship, I am watching the most widely publicized pastoral transition in the world -- there is white smoke, a new Pope has been elected.
So whether you are newly ordained, starting a new call, or just found out that the conclave elected you as Pope, here is my advice for a new pastor.
1) Love the people.
Welcome to your new call. First, love the people in your church on Sunday morning. They are strangers to you, you don't know their names yet. Sit and learn at their feet. Who are they? What matters to them? What are their values? What are their needs? Listen, listen, listen, and love your new people.
2) Love the people.
There are people who will peek around the church, checking you out. Will you be different from your predecessor? Will you be the same? Often they are hurt. Scarred. Damaged. Looking to see if you are a threat or a comfort. Love the hurting people.
3) Love the people.
Outside the doors of your church, there are lots of people. Some of them are potential members of your church. Many of them will never be members of your church. But they are your community. Get involved in the life of your community outside the sanctuary doors. Know how the community celebrates and how it hurts. Learn what the needs are in the community and where the broken people are. Get out in the the community, and love the people.
4) Love the people.
Soon. Maybe not your first Sunday, maybe not your second, but soon, there will be conflict. The honeymoon will end. Someone or a group will criticize your decisions and the way you do things. They may insult you and hurt your feelings. Your instinct will be to defend yourself, or even to fight back. Don't. Bite your tongue. Sit back and wait. Listen to the criticism, with grace and humility. Love the people, especially when they are hard to love.
5) Love the people.
Take care of yourself. As you jump into your new position, the tendency will be to try to do everything. If you are exhausted and spiritually drained, you are no help to anyone. Pay special attention to your prayer life. Pray for your congregation. Pray for your leaders. Pray for your community. And do not be afraid to ask them to pray for you! Do not be afraid to let them love you and take care of you. Love the people, and let them love you.
What advice would you add?
Kickin' Ash!
On Ash Wednesday, we go to church and are marked with ashes with the cross of Christ, and reminded to "Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return."Before beginning to work in churches I never thought to wonder: "Where do the ashes for Ash Wednesday come from?"
The short answer is easy: They are usually made from the leftover palms that were used in last year's Palm Sunday service. But still ... how do they get from Palm Sunday to Ash Wednesday?
Two answers: 1) You can purchase ashes from any number of liturgical goods suppliers. They come prepackaged and ready to go. 2) Someone in the church (the pastor or priest, the head of the altar guild, etc) can make your own ashes. Naturally, the church-geeks among us opt for option 2.
So how do you do it? Here is my process:
Step 1
Lay out the palms after Palm Sunday. Ok, I usually don't get to them until after Easter, but still. I like to find a spot in the sun, where they can can dry out well and quickly. As they are first drying out, rotate them every week or two, or else you will wind up with mold.
Protip: Lay out your palms on a large garbage bag or something similar. Once they are dry, this will allow you to pick them up without leaves going everywhere.
Step 2
Prepare something to burn the palms in. I use a large stock pot, lined in tinfoil. You can also just use tinfoil is you get it to bowl up right. Or whatever else works for you.
Step 3
Strip the palm leaves off of the stems. I just grab the top of the palm and pull down along the stem, pulling off a handful at time. Then, cut the leaves into little bits, the smaller the better. I use scissors, you can also use a kitchen chopper thingy (Magic Bullet, I think?).
Step 4
Burn, baby burn.
Get out of the wind as much as possible. I use a stick or something similar to turn over the palms and burn as much as possible. Warning: Burning palms smell like a certain herb recently legalized in a few States. You will get said smell in all of your clothes.
Step 5
Sift out the big bits to get yourself a nice ash. I use a strainer. Pouring the ashes into the strainer over a stainless steel bowl, I use a spoon as a sort of pestle to crush the ashes through the strainer. You will be left with some larger bits and some that did not burn, which you can just throw away. Some people use an actual mortal and pestle for this step. Others use a flour sifter (but heed the warning above about kitchen utensils!).
Protip: Go slowly! This stirs up a lot of ash. If you rush, it will go everywhere. Go slow.
Step 6
I store my ashes dry - they last longer that way. On Ash Wednesday I use a smaller container and mix the ash with oil before applying to people's foreheads. You can also apply the ash dry, or you can use an oil stock and put oil on your "crossing finger" before putting ash on the forehead.
Protip: Mixing oil and ashes is an art. Only add the smallest bit of oil at a time, or you will get goop. And nobody likes to be gooped on Ash Wednesday.
This is also a great pre-Lenten activity for youth or confirmation groups (with plenty of supervision!). Remember: Less is more. With only about 1/3 of the left over palms from last year, I made enough ashes for about 3 years.
Oh. In addition to purchasing your ashes or making your own, there is a 3rd option. Find a colleague who is a liturgy-geek. Chances are that he or she will make way more than is needed every year, and will happily share with you.
 |
| My Ash Wednesday ash-container. Not sure where this came from, but it is just the right size! |
A week in the life of the Parson
My friend and colleague, Clint Schnekloth, recently challenged his Lutheran pastor friends to share a summary of our experiences during the week. A chance for us to learn from one another, and for our non-clergy friends to get a peek into what a pastor's life looks like.
As a caveat: there is no such thing as a normal week in the life of a pastor. Every week has something unusual - a funeral, a wedding, a pastoral emergency, etc. So I this just happens to be the week immediately after Pastor Schnekloth invited us to share our experiences. (Ok, it wound up being an octave, not a week. But you get the idea).
Saturday, January 12
Wedding, and pre-Sunday. If there is a wedding, it pretty much takes all day (although the service itself is not terribly long). Over to church around noon to unlock and set the heat or air conditioning for the day. Into my office to fine tune my wedding sermon and service. Greet family and friends and make sure that everything is ready. Weddings can be frustrating for a pastor, but it is also a great joy and privilege to spend time with families as the celebrate.
Off to the reception, which I usually leave fairly early. By about 8:00pm on any given Saturday night, my mind turns to Sunday morning. There is something to the Jewish practice of beginning a day at sunset the night prior. I am thinking about my sermon, thinking about the liturgy, thinking about Sunday School. Not exactly the party guy. So I try to be home by 9:00pm on Saturdays -- it really is better for everyone.
Sunday, January 13
"Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!" The big show. Yes, the things I do all week long are important. But what happens on Sunday goes a long way toward shaping who we are on a community. I am usually at church between 5:30-6:00am. A practice I learned from my Dad. Tweak the sermon. Practice the sermon and the liturgy. Make sure that everything is where it needs to be. Spend some extra time in prayer, asking for God to speak to our community -- knowing that without God, all of my preparation is meaningless.
This particular Sunday, there is also our afternoon confirmation class with two other community churches. So after the service it is a quick bite to eat, and then time to go over my lesson. And then the confirmation students arrive, and we are off to the races.
By the time I am home at 6:30pm, I am done. For this introvert, that is a lot of time spent with large groups. Sundays are joyful and exciting, and also exhausting.
Monday, January 14
After an especially busy Sunday, a slow start to Monday. Responding to emails and phone calls (Did you ever notice that emails and phone calls seem to come like a tidal wave on Monday mornings?). After hearing at church that a friend and neighbor was sick, word came this morning that he died last night. I went to the family's house, and sat with his widow and family for a little while, offering prayer and my sympathies. Then back to the office, post a podcast from Christmas (catching up!) and to finish reports and paperwork for our first council meeting of the new year. I love our council meetings. I have the privilege of working with a great group of leaders, and this year is no exception. A great time at our first meeting.
Tuesday, January 15
A Presbyterian teaching elder, an Episcopal priest, a UCC pastor, and two Lutheran pastors walk into the room. No, really. Every Tuesday morning, we have a time to sit down and study the Scriptures for Sunday ahead. It is a wonderful time of study, support, and prayer. From there, I went off to the hospital to visit a member who had surgery. I spent some time visiting with him and his family. And then, a young women noticed my collar and asked me to come visit with her family. Her dad was being removed from life support today. So, with this family I had just met, we prayed together. We talked about God and about faith and about suffering. We cried together. It was a holy afternoon.
Back at the office, I finished up my written annual report so that the annual meeting materials could get mailed out to the congregation on Wednesday. On Tuesday evenings, I meet on twitter for a conversation about using technology and social media in ministry, which a community of which I am a part called Church Social Media (#chsocm). The hour spent in that conversation every week helps me to develop new skills and think about ministry in new ways.
Then it was family game night time!
Wednesday, January 16
Odds and ends. A little bit of this and a little bit of that.
A couple of pop-in visits at the nursing home to see how everyone was doing. A couple of phone calls to follow up on things. A chuck of time on ye olde sermon. Giving the final once over to the bulletin. Our monthly fellowship lunch with the men of the congregation.
And then evening meetings. Met with the volunteers who put together the powerpoint presentations for Sunday morning. It served as an orientation for new volunteers, as well as an introduction to our new laptop (Windows 8, yuck) for people who have served there for a while. From there, straight to another meeting about our building use with a group who is working up a proposal for a new activity center for the congregation. It is exciting to work on this sort of project, which is driven not by the pastor but by creative and forward thinking members.
Thursday, January 17
Funeral for the friend who died earlier in the week. A beautiful memorial for this well-known member of our community.
Then, getting ready for our annual Council retreat on Saturday. Every year, the Council devotes a day to a) learning about their responsibilities as council members and b) dreaming about the future of St. John. Most of Thursday was spent preparing my materials for that conversation, as well as picking up supplies and making handouts and all those other preparations.
Friday, January 18
Sabbath. A day of rest. Mostly. Yes, some time spent reading, and some time spent doing chores. But also some goofing off and some plain old enjoyment of this life that God has given us. Lots of time with my daughter and wife.
At some point in the last few years, I the listing of this day in our monthly calendar. It used to say "Pastor's Day Off" and now says "Pastor's Sabbath." As in, "Six days you shall work, but the seventh day shall be a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On that day, you shall do no work." Not God's suggestion to get a little rest. God's command. You shall rest.
Friday doesn't always work for my Sabbath. Other things come up that must be dealt with. But I try to be faithful to my responsibility to take a day of rest.
Saturday, January 19
Men's breakfast first thing in the morning, and then: Council retreat.
As I said, I have a great time with the leadership of St. John. I really think that church leadership should be joyful - and we live that out in our life together at St. John. So, we had a great day getting to know one another, laughing together, dreaming together, praying together, and doing business of the church together.
And then it starts all over again.
As a caveat: there is no such thing as a normal week in the life of a pastor. Every week has something unusual - a funeral, a wedding, a pastoral emergency, etc. So I this just happens to be the week immediately after Pastor Schnekloth invited us to share our experiences. (Ok, it wound up being an octave, not a week. But you get the idea).
Saturday, January 12
Off to the reception, which I usually leave fairly early. By about 8:00pm on any given Saturday night, my mind turns to Sunday morning. There is something to the Jewish practice of beginning a day at sunset the night prior. I am thinking about my sermon, thinking about the liturgy, thinking about Sunday School. Not exactly the party guy. So I try to be home by 9:00pm on Saturdays -- it really is better for everyone.
Sunday, January 13
"Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!" The big show. Yes, the things I do all week long are important. But what happens on Sunday goes a long way toward shaping who we are on a community. I am usually at church between 5:30-6:00am. A practice I learned from my Dad. Tweak the sermon. Practice the sermon and the liturgy. Make sure that everything is where it needs to be. Spend some extra time in prayer, asking for God to speak to our community -- knowing that without God, all of my preparation is meaningless.
This particular Sunday, there is also our afternoon confirmation class with two other community churches. So after the service it is a quick bite to eat, and then time to go over my lesson. And then the confirmation students arrive, and we are off to the races.
By the time I am home at 6:30pm, I am done. For this introvert, that is a lot of time spent with large groups. Sundays are joyful and exciting, and also exhausting.
Monday, January 14
After an especially busy Sunday, a slow start to Monday. Responding to emails and phone calls (Did you ever notice that emails and phone calls seem to come like a tidal wave on Monday mornings?). After hearing at church that a friend and neighbor was sick, word came this morning that he died last night. I went to the family's house, and sat with his widow and family for a little while, offering prayer and my sympathies. Then back to the office, post a podcast from Christmas (catching up!) and to finish reports and paperwork for our first council meeting of the new year. I love our council meetings. I have the privilege of working with a great group of leaders, and this year is no exception. A great time at our first meeting.
Tuesday, January 15
A Presbyterian teaching elder, an Episcopal priest, a UCC pastor, and two Lutheran pastors walk into the room. No, really. Every Tuesday morning, we have a time to sit down and study the Scriptures for Sunday ahead. It is a wonderful time of study, support, and prayer. From there, I went off to the hospital to visit a member who had surgery. I spent some time visiting with him and his family. And then, a young women noticed my collar and asked me to come visit with her family. Her dad was being removed from life support today. So, with this family I had just met, we prayed together. We talked about God and about faith and about suffering. We cried together. It was a holy afternoon.
Back at the office, I finished up my written annual report so that the annual meeting materials could get mailed out to the congregation on Wednesday. On Tuesday evenings, I meet on twitter for a conversation about using technology and social media in ministry, which a community of which I am a part called Church Social Media (#chsocm). The hour spent in that conversation every week helps me to develop new skills and think about ministry in new ways.
Then it was family game night time!
Wednesday, January 16
Odds and ends. A little bit of this and a little bit of that.
A couple of pop-in visits at the nursing home to see how everyone was doing. A couple of phone calls to follow up on things. A chuck of time on ye olde sermon. Giving the final once over to the bulletin. Our monthly fellowship lunch with the men of the congregation.
And then evening meetings. Met with the volunteers who put together the powerpoint presentations for Sunday morning. It served as an orientation for new volunteers, as well as an introduction to our new laptop (Windows 8, yuck) for people who have served there for a while. From there, straight to another meeting about our building use with a group who is working up a proposal for a new activity center for the congregation. It is exciting to work on this sort of project, which is driven not by the pastor but by creative and forward thinking members.
Thursday, January 17
Funeral for the friend who died earlier in the week. A beautiful memorial for this well-known member of our community.
Then, getting ready for our annual Council retreat on Saturday. Every year, the Council devotes a day to a) learning about their responsibilities as council members and b) dreaming about the future of St. John. Most of Thursday was spent preparing my materials for that conversation, as well as picking up supplies and making handouts and all those other preparations.
Friday, January 18
Sabbath. A day of rest. Mostly. Yes, some time spent reading, and some time spent doing chores. But also some goofing off and some plain old enjoyment of this life that God has given us. Lots of time with my daughter and wife.
At some point in the last few years, I the listing of this day in our monthly calendar. It used to say "Pastor's Day Off" and now says "Pastor's Sabbath." As in, "Six days you shall work, but the seventh day shall be a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On that day, you shall do no work." Not God's suggestion to get a little rest. God's command. You shall rest.
Friday doesn't always work for my Sabbath. Other things come up that must be dealt with. But I try to be faithful to my responsibility to take a day of rest.
Saturday, January 19
Men's breakfast first thing in the morning, and then: Council retreat.
As I said, I have a great time with the leadership of St. John. I really think that church leadership should be joyful - and we live that out in our life together at St. John. So, we had a great day getting to know one another, laughing together, dreaming together, praying together, and doing business of the church together.
And then it starts all over again.
(Clerical) Suit Up!
Whatever you call it, the stiff white collar worn by many clergy (most often with a black shirt) is funny looking. Many pastors and priests have abandoned clerical collars. They are too formal. They make us (clergy) look different than everyone else - and we want people to know that we are just like them. Clergy want to seem more approachable, more relaxed, more laid back. We don't necessarily want to be connected to institutional religion in an age when people don't trust institutional religion.
All good reasons to abandon the clerical collar. And yet, I remain someone who wears clericals more often than not. I have outlined before some reasons why I do so. However, the greatest reason is this: I want people who are looking for a representative of God / the church to be able to find me; and to find me easily.
But, you may say, people don't really go looking for a representative of God or the church. And most of the time you are right. But when people get to the end of their rope, when people start feeling overwhelmed they do. Or, to put it another way, people do not start looking for someone in a clerical collar until their need is great.
The analogy I've always used is police officers. If I am in need of help, I am much more likely to look for a police officer in uniform than I am a police officer in plain clothes. Granted, it is not often that I am looking for a police officer. But when I am, I need to be able to find one as soon as possible.
So too, clergy. It is may not be often that a person is looking for a pastor, but when they are they often need to be able to find one as soon as possible.
Yesterday, I went to the hospital and visited with a member recovering from surgery. Walking out of the Critical Care Unit to go visit with the family in the waiting room, a young woman stopped me. "Will you be in the hospital long today? They are taking my Dad off life support today."
I told her I would be back. I went and visited with the family of the congregation member who went through surgery. I went back into the Critical Care Unit, and met the young woman's mother and her father. We prayed together. We cried together.
We watched as the ventilator tube was removed from the man. And then we sat together some more. We talked about God and suffering and pain. We cried some more. We prayed some more.
I spent about 3 hours in that room - because I was wearing a collar. They were experiencing the long dark night, and they needed - desperately - someone who could speak with them about faith and God, someone who represented the church. And I was the guy in the funny looking collar.
There is no argument that can outweigh my experience with that family yesterday (and others I have had like it).
And so, in the words of Barney Stinson, I will continue to "suit up."
What do you do, Pastor?
In a group of Lutheran clergy, the topic of "What does the pastor do?" recently came up. We all agreed that there are many things that pastors do that might surprise the members of the churches we serve. What follows is an edited list from that discussion. This list could easily be significantly larger. Call it a glimpse into pastoral ministry. (Many thanks to the ELCA Clergy group on Facebook!)
Listen to you, your spouse, your child, your co-worker,
neighbor, Aunt Betty, grandpa, and whoever else might need to talk. With no
judgement, and no insurance paperwork to fill out.
Cook for visitors to the house, and for congregational
meals.
Stop by the church at 10:00 pm and turn off the lights that
someone missed earlier.
Share in the most sacred and profound moments of life.
Make coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
Sit in the hospital and hold a loved one’s hand as he or she dies. Be a shoulder for family
members to cry on as they grieve.
Just by being present, lower the average age of the
congregation.
Water the newly planted tree given in memory of Great-Aunt
Myrtle.
Take out the trash.
Attend sporting events, concerts, and other school activities
for youth of the church.
Gain weight eating at every congregational meal and event.
Model the love of Jesus, even when you are in a really
bad mood.
Help local police, firefighters, and EMTs keep their faith
in the face of horrible tragedies.
Rush to the emergency room in the middle of the night when there
is a tragic accident, whether or not it involves a member of the congregation.
Write a pile of letters of recommendation.
Write birthday cards and thank you notes. Lots and lots of
thank you notes and birthday cards.
Keep up with all the news and how it impacts the community: read
newspapers, blogs, magazines, and more.
Dream about the future of the congregation: What is possible
for us? Where is God leading us?
Know who is in the hospital . Even when no one tells you.
Know who is in the hospital . Even when no one tells you.
Celebrate with families in times of joy.
Unlock the church doors at 8:00 am so flowers can be
delivered for the afternoon wedding.
Visit with people in Nursing Homes and hospitals, knowing at
times that you are the only visitor they will see.
Call Child Protective Services.
Visit the people that no one else wants to spend time with
in the county jail.
Find the dead mouse in the church, hoping the smell is gone
by Sunday.
Keep up with the latest in theology: Read biblical
commentaries, journals, works of fiction, blogs, and monographs.
Learn how to change gears, going from mourning at a deathbed
to rejoicing with newlyweds in the same day.
Unclog toilets!
Tend the headaches created by the previous pastor; create
headaches for the next pastor.
Supervise interns and even have the nerve not to
unconditionally recommend them.
Make jokes to reassure the bride and groom who just saw
their unity candle go out right after they lit it.
Creatively figure out how to celebrate the major holidays
with your family – knowing that you will have to preside at worship and then be
on call.
Know that emergencies are drawn to holidays like moths to a
flame. Chances are good that someone will die/have an accident/have a family
emergency on Christmas, or New Year, or Easter, or the 4th of July.
Fold chairs. Move tables.
Choose hymns for worship – Hymns that are contemporary, but
not new; hymns that everyone knows but that aren’t the same hymns we always
sing.
Learn to receive compliments well from loving and supportive
members. Learn to shrug off unwarranted criticism from thoughtless members.
Help people to see (and then use!) the gift that God has
given to them.
Answer the phone when emergencies happen at 3:00am, and
still be cheery and ready for worship at 8am.
Listen. And then listen. And then listen some more.
Help people to laugh when they need to – Even if it is at
you.
Let people cry when they need to – Even if you cry with
them.
Separate the trash from the recycling. Make runs to the recycling center.
Study the Bible. Read the Bible. Pray the Bible.
Paperwork! Write reports to Council, write reports to the
synod, write proposals for committees, reports to the congregation …
Hear Confession -
sometimes formally and ritually, sometimes informally over coffee or a beer.
Lead worship music and hymns. Even if you aren’t
particularly comfortable doing so.
Prepare for the unexpected.
Go to an endless stream of meetings: some that are life-giving
and mission focused, some that are really boring and pointless.
Prepare 10-25 minutes of new sermon material for every
Sunday, every funeral, every wedding. Rehearse said material, so that you sound
like you know what you’re talking about.
Encourage and empower the members to minister to one
another.
Communicate: through newsletters, bulletins, facebook,
telephone, email, face to face visits, twitter, and any other means possible.
Be the “Tech person” – update software and repair the church’s
computers.
Bury strangers, family members, and dearly beloved friends. Same
with weddings. Same with baptisms.
Teach. About theology, about church life, about social
issues, about liturgy and worship, about other denominations and religions.
Connect with wonderful colleagues to learn from one another,
encourage one another, and to hold one another accountable.
Participate in the ministry we share as denomination and a
synod.
Identify members who are doing amazing ministry without
you. Support them and get of their way.
Plan and teach Confirmation the confirmation program.
Every so often, re-read the Lutheran Confessions to remind yourself
what you are all about.
Find a time and place to worship when you are not leading
the worship service.
Figure out what inter-personal and systematic issues are
holding back the mission of the congregation, and help the leaders of the
congregation to name them and deal with them.
Sunday morning: Look in the eye of the member of the congregation who made you
(or your spouse) cry with their thoughtless (or intentional) meanness, and proclaim: “In obedience to the command of
Christ, I forgive you all your sins.”
Keep up with the membership rolls, attendance and communion
records.
Fold bulletins.
Respond graciously to interruptions in the “normal” (ha!)
work day.
Visit with members in their homes.
Help those who come knocking on the church door looking for
assistance.
Learn what needs an immediate response. Learn what can wait until
later.
Discard the day’s plan in order to respond to emergencies.
Even though you work nights and weekends, make sure there is plenty of time with family and loved ones.
Love the people. Love the people. Love the people.
What did we miss?
I'm Talking to You
Dear Denominational / Institutional Leader:
I get it. Really I do. Your schedule is demanding and extremely full. Lots of meetings, travel, phone calls, and correspondence. You don't have time for one more thing. I understand.
You haven't had the time to learn about social media. Maybe you're interested - but who has the time?! Maybe you're not even interested. It just doesn't make any sense. I understand.
However, sooner or later you are going to be forced to deal with social media. Perhaps a crisis will arise in how a member of the clergy interacts with members of the congregation on Twitter. Perhaps someone under your care will have their marriage publicly implode on Facebook. Perhaps members of a parish will use social media to slander their leadership. Sooner or later you will have to deal with social media.
The question is: Would you rather learn about social media now, or in the middle of a crisis?
There are people out there already thinking about social media and ministry. Questions are being considered like how clergy should interact with members, what does public ministry look like online, how can church leadership deal with privacy concerns, and many more.
Check among your leaders - maybe there is someone who can guide you through this conversation. Go to the Church Social Media blog, the hub of an ongoing conversation about social media and ministry. Read up, and send a message to any of us who write for the blog or who regularly contribute to the conversation. We want to share what we know. Find people who use social media well, and ask them to be your guides. Host conversations within your synod/diocese/presbytery/organization about how people should best use social media.
At some point - most likely very soon - social media will find it's way into your ministry, even if you would rather have nothing to do with it. It is better to prepare yourself now.
Come, learn with us.
(Image: Dear Leader, by Telstar Logistics)
I get it. Really I do. Your schedule is demanding and extremely full. Lots of meetings, travel, phone calls, and correspondence. You don't have time for one more thing. I understand.
You haven't had the time to learn about social media. Maybe you're interested - but who has the time?! Maybe you're not even interested. It just doesn't make any sense. I understand.
However, sooner or later you are going to be forced to deal with social media. Perhaps a crisis will arise in how a member of the clergy interacts with members of the congregation on Twitter. Perhaps someone under your care will have their marriage publicly implode on Facebook. Perhaps members of a parish will use social media to slander their leadership. Sooner or later you will have to deal with social media.
The question is: Would you rather learn about social media now, or in the middle of a crisis?
 |
| "Dear Leader" |
Check among your leaders - maybe there is someone who can guide you through this conversation. Go to the Church Social Media blog, the hub of an ongoing conversation about social media and ministry. Read up, and send a message to any of us who write for the blog or who regularly contribute to the conversation. We want to share what we know. Find people who use social media well, and ask them to be your guides. Host conversations within your synod/diocese/presbytery/organization about how people should best use social media.
At some point - most likely very soon - social media will find it's way into your ministry, even if you would rather have nothing to do with it. It is better to prepare yourself now.
Come, learn with us.
(Image: Dear Leader, by Telstar Logistics)
Rollercoaster Ministry
Pulled from my archives from four years ago.
Just last week, I was making the 45 minute drive from Prairie Hill to the hospital in Bryan, Texas. It was a hot, dry day in Central Texas. The sun was out in full force, and the fields along the road had recently been harvested, leaving thick dust to blow across the road. I was briefly in the hospital, making a couple of visits, and walked out to my car to find a different world. On the drive home, my windshield wipers could barely keep up as I drove at half the speed limit, and the dust had become mud in the small lakes that had formed on the roadway. In an instant, everything had changed from one extreme to the other - with very little warning and very little time to adjust.
Life in the ministry is often like that, requiring quick gear shifts from one extreme to the other.
It is one of the facts of ministry that pastors invest themselves emotionally and spiritually in the lives and events of those to whom they minister. They rejoice when they are with those who are rejoicing, and they are mourn with those who mourn. In fact, it is probably this sort of emotional and spiritual investment that often leads to clergy burn-out.
What they do not teach in seminary is how to make the sorts of emotional and spiritual u-turns that ministry often requires. That day at the hospital, I went from the oncology unit to the neo-natal unit. Four weeks ago I went from a funeral to the birth of my daughter. More times than I care to count I have gone from a baptismal celebration to a death-bed; or from painful marriage counseling to joyful pre-marital counseling.
People have often asked me why pastors often talk about our work as being so exhausting, and why we are so intentional about taking time off. True enough, life in the ministry is rarely physically exhausting (although of course there are exceptions). Yet riding the roller coaster of emotional and spiritual demands can easily drain a pastor. It is tiring to go from being fully emotionally and spiritually invested with a family who is mourning, to being fully emotionally and spiritually invested with persons during the joys of life.
I don't really know that this is something that can be taught: you either learn to ride the roller coaster, or you don't. For those pastors who do not learn to make those sorts of u-turns while being fully invested in the lives of their parishioners, burn-out or disengagement from the lives of the congregation members is not far behind.
But for those pastors who do learn it, there is no roller coaster that is more fun or rewarding.
I would love to connect with you on Twitter and continue the conversation there!
Just last week, I was making the 45 minute drive from Prairie Hill to the hospital in Bryan, Texas. It was a hot, dry day in Central Texas. The sun was out in full force, and the fields along the road had recently been harvested, leaving thick dust to blow across the road. I was briefly in the hospital, making a couple of visits, and walked out to my car to find a different world. On the drive home, my windshield wipers could barely keep up as I drove at half the speed limit, and the dust had become mud in the small lakes that had formed on the roadway. In an instant, everything had changed from one extreme to the other - with very little warning and very little time to adjust.
Life in the ministry is often like that, requiring quick gear shifts from one extreme to the other.
It is one of the facts of ministry that pastors invest themselves emotionally and spiritually in the lives and events of those to whom they minister. They rejoice when they are with those who are rejoicing, and they are mourn with those who mourn. In fact, it is probably this sort of emotional and spiritual investment that often leads to clergy burn-out.
What they do not teach in seminary is how to make the sorts of emotional and spiritual u-turns that ministry often requires. That day at the hospital, I went from the oncology unit to the neo-natal unit. Four weeks ago I went from a funeral to the birth of my daughter. More times than I care to count I have gone from a baptismal celebration to a death-bed; or from painful marriage counseling to joyful pre-marital counseling.
People have often asked me why pastors often talk about our work as being so exhausting, and why we are so intentional about taking time off. True enough, life in the ministry is rarely physically exhausting (although of course there are exceptions). Yet riding the roller coaster of emotional and spiritual demands can easily drain a pastor. It is tiring to go from being fully emotionally and spiritually invested with a family who is mourning, to being fully emotionally and spiritually invested with persons during the joys of life.
I don't really know that this is something that can be taught: you either learn to ride the roller coaster, or you don't. For those pastors who do not learn to make those sorts of u-turns while being fully invested in the lives of their parishioners, burn-out or disengagement from the lives of the congregation members is not far behind.
But for those pastors who do learn it, there is no roller coaster that is more fun or rewarding.
(Roller coaster image by wikipedia user Tinned Elk, Creative Commons 2.0)
Thank You
Given all the new people reading this little blog of mine, I feel like I should say something witty and clever. Now that you're here, I should have something witty and ironic for you to read ... something to follow up my "Crappy Pastors" post from earlier this week.
But I don't.
What I have to say is thank you. Thank you for reading these little rants of mine. Thank you for being people who care about your pastors. Pastors, thank you for taking care of one another.
"Get Rid of Your Crappy Pastor" came out of a particular frustration. Over the last few months, I have watched multiple pastor-friends get used and abused by congregations. It was made known that significant portions of the congregation no longer wanted them to serve as pastor, and their lives were made miserable. I have more than one pastor-friend who has been so miserable that they just quit - before having a new congregation lined up to work in.
So I wrote "Crappy Pastors." And it hit a nerve. I have watched it spread over the last two days. For the first day, 600 people an hour were reading my blog. That's right, in one hour more people looked at my blog than are members of the congregation I serve ... In the last week, I have had almost as many pageloads as there are people in Brenham, Texas. I am humbled.
Since writing this post, I had friends from around the country contact me saying, "I want to be a crappy pastor, so people will get rid of me like that!"
Shhh ... Here's the secret: We're all crappy pastors. Yup. I'm a crappy pastor. I regularly fail, let people down, say the wrong thing, forget important things, and hurt people's feelings. I am a crappy pastor. Pastors: go ahead and admit it. Trust me, it is freeing to face up to and be honest about our shortcomings.
And any pastor who can't make that admission is a crappy pastor because they are not aware of their shortcomings. We are all crappy pastors. The perfect pastor is like the Sasquatch: We've all heard of them, but no one has actually seen one.
We are all crappy pastors, because we are all sinful, imperfect, and flawed. We need the love, encouragement, and prayers of our colleagues and the congregations we serve.
And the congregations we serve? Yup, you guessed. They're crappy, too. Filled with sinful, imperfect, and flawed people who need the love, encouragement, and prayers of one another and the pastors who serve them.
The good news? Our God is head over heels in love with flawed, imperfect people. We are just God's type!
So thank you. Thank you for being people who love imperfect, crappy pastors. And thank you for being pastors who love imperfect, crappy people. And thank you for reading. One of these days another one of my posts might just be clever and strike a nerve.
But I don't.
What I have to say is thank you. Thank you for reading these little rants of mine. Thank you for being people who care about your pastors. Pastors, thank you for taking care of one another.
"Get Rid of Your Crappy Pastor" came out of a particular frustration. Over the last few months, I have watched multiple pastor-friends get used and abused by congregations. It was made known that significant portions of the congregation no longer wanted them to serve as pastor, and their lives were made miserable. I have more than one pastor-friend who has been so miserable that they just quit - before having a new congregation lined up to work in.
So I wrote "Crappy Pastors." And it hit a nerve. I have watched it spread over the last two days. For the first day, 600 people an hour were reading my blog. That's right, in one hour more people looked at my blog than are members of the congregation I serve ... In the last week, I have had almost as many pageloads as there are people in Brenham, Texas. I am humbled.
Since writing this post, I had friends from around the country contact me saying, "I want to be a crappy pastor, so people will get rid of me like that!"
Shhh ... Here's the secret: We're all crappy pastors. Yup. I'm a crappy pastor. I regularly fail, let people down, say the wrong thing, forget important things, and hurt people's feelings. I am a crappy pastor. Pastors: go ahead and admit it. Trust me, it is freeing to face up to and be honest about our shortcomings.
And any pastor who can't make that admission is a crappy pastor because they are not aware of their shortcomings. We are all crappy pastors. The perfect pastor is like the Sasquatch: We've all heard of them, but no one has actually seen one.
We are all crappy pastors, because we are all sinful, imperfect, and flawed. We need the love, encouragement, and prayers of our colleagues and the congregations we serve.
And the congregations we serve? Yup, you guessed. They're crappy, too. Filled with sinful, imperfect, and flawed people who need the love, encouragement, and prayers of one another and the pastors who serve them.
The good news? Our God is head over heels in love with flawed, imperfect people. We are just God's type!
So thank you. Thank you for being people who love imperfect, crappy pastors. And thank you for being pastors who love imperfect, crappy people. And thank you for reading. One of these days another one of my posts might just be clever and strike a nerve.
Get Rid of Your Crappy Pastor!
(This post has attracted a lot of attention since first published. Thank you. Please check out my follow up post as well.)
I simply cannot count the number of complaints that I get to hear about other pastors. I've responded to such complaints many ways over the years. The simply smile and nod, without actually agreeing -- or conversely, the serious head shake. I've advised the individuals to go and talk to their pastor about their complaint. I've even tried to convince the complainer that their pastor really is pretty good.
But enough of that. I know what most of these complainers want ... They want to get rid of their crappy pastor. The sooner the better. And so, without further ado, six steps to get rid of your crappy pastor and get a better pastor in your congregation.
1) Pray for your crappy pastor. I know, you really don't want to pray for your pastor right now, but give it a try. Pray for your pastor's preaching, for your pastor's life, even for the pastor's family. Prayer was one of those things that Jesus was kind of big on, so go ahead and give it a try.
2) Make sure your crappy pastor takes a day off. Really, you don't want your pastor doing all those things that annoy you any more than absolutely necessary. Make sure everyone knows when the pastor's day off is, and that doesn't call on that day. If there is a congregational event, or an emergency, or a wedding, or a funeral on the normal day off, let it be known that your pastor will be taking another day off to make up the time off.
3) Insist that your crappy pastor take every week of vacation in the contract. Many pastors leave unclaimed vacation days every year. Let's face it - you don't really want your pastor around anyway, so encourage him or her to take all of the allowed vacation. And make it easy decision for your crappy pastor to leave town! Line up volunteers to take care of all the work around the congregation so the pastor doesn't have to work extra hard before leaving and when coming home. Offer up your vacation home, or a gift card for a plane ticket out of town. Make sure everyone comes to worship, so the pastor doesn't feel guilty about leaving for a Sunday.
4) Continuing Education Events. Speaking of getting your crappy pastor out of town, by contract your pastor probably has continuing education time. Make sure that your pastor is attending lots of events with exciting speakers, great preachers, and innovative thinkers (you know, just so your pastor can see the ways in which he or she doesn't measure up). While you're at it, go ahead and increase the continuing education budget - make sure there is no barrier to your pastor getting away from your congregation and to these events.
5) Take over the tasks with which your pastor struggles. We all know that pastors should be good at everything in the parish - from administration to preaching, from visitation with the elderly to youth events. Chances are, your crappy pastor has some places where there are struggles. Hire an administrative assistant. Get the parents and other volunteers to coordinate and host the youth events. Get a group of volunteers together to visit with homebound members. There are all sorts of ways to make sure that your crappy pastor doesn't mess up these tasks that he or she is already struggling with.
6) Encourage your pastor to spend more time in prayer and reading. Now that you have freed up your pastor from all those tasks that were the worst trouble points, there is all sorts of extra time. You don't want him or her to jump right back into those tasks and mess them up, do you? Encourage them to go and read, or spend time with other local pastors, or spend more time intentionally in prayer.
There you go! It's foolproof!
If you do these six simple things, I guarantee you will get rid of your crappy pastor. Get your congregational leaders on board with this plan. Recruit the key people in the congregation to help you with it.
Pray for your pastor, make sure your crappy pastor takes all of the allotted vacation and days off, send your pastor to amazing continuing education events, recruit volunteers (or hire other staff) to fill in your pastor's weaknesses, and make sure your pastor is spending time praying, reading, and dreaming.
Yup, that's it. Do those things, and I guarantee you will stop complaining about your crappy pastor. You will hear better sermons. People will feel more ministered to. Exciting ideas will start to come from your council meetings.
And all these things without having to go through the search process and hire a new pastor!
Take these six steps, and watch your crappy pastor become the sort of pastor you have always wanted.
I simply cannot count the number of complaints that I get to hear about other pastors. I've responded to such complaints many ways over the years. The simply smile and nod, without actually agreeing -- or conversely, the serious head shake. I've advised the individuals to go and talk to their pastor about their complaint. I've even tried to convince the complainer that their pastor really is pretty good.
But enough of that. I know what most of these complainers want ... They want to get rid of their crappy pastor. The sooner the better. And so, without further ado, six steps to get rid of your crappy pastor and get a better pastor in your congregation.
1) Pray for your crappy pastor. I know, you really don't want to pray for your pastor right now, but give it a try. Pray for your pastor's preaching, for your pastor's life, even for the pastor's family. Prayer was one of those things that Jesus was kind of big on, so go ahead and give it a try.
2) Make sure your crappy pastor takes a day off. Really, you don't want your pastor doing all those things that annoy you any more than absolutely necessary. Make sure everyone knows when the pastor's day off is, and that doesn't call on that day. If there is a congregational event, or an emergency, or a wedding, or a funeral on the normal day off, let it be known that your pastor will be taking another day off to make up the time off.
3) Insist that your crappy pastor take every week of vacation in the contract. Many pastors leave unclaimed vacation days every year. Let's face it - you don't really want your pastor around anyway, so encourage him or her to take all of the allowed vacation. And make it easy decision for your crappy pastor to leave town! Line up volunteers to take care of all the work around the congregation so the pastor doesn't have to work extra hard before leaving and when coming home. Offer up your vacation home, or a gift card for a plane ticket out of town. Make sure everyone comes to worship, so the pastor doesn't feel guilty about leaving for a Sunday.
4) Continuing Education Events. Speaking of getting your crappy pastor out of town, by contract your pastor probably has continuing education time. Make sure that your pastor is attending lots of events with exciting speakers, great preachers, and innovative thinkers (you know, just so your pastor can see the ways in which he or she doesn't measure up). While you're at it, go ahead and increase the continuing education budget - make sure there is no barrier to your pastor getting away from your congregation and to these events.
5) Take over the tasks with which your pastor struggles. We all know that pastors should be good at everything in the parish - from administration to preaching, from visitation with the elderly to youth events. Chances are, your crappy pastor has some places where there are struggles. Hire an administrative assistant. Get the parents and other volunteers to coordinate and host the youth events. Get a group of volunteers together to visit with homebound members. There are all sorts of ways to make sure that your crappy pastor doesn't mess up these tasks that he or she is already struggling with.
6) Encourage your pastor to spend more time in prayer and reading. Now that you have freed up your pastor from all those tasks that were the worst trouble points, there is all sorts of extra time. You don't want him or her to jump right back into those tasks and mess them up, do you? Encourage them to go and read, or spend time with other local pastors, or spend more time intentionally in prayer.
There you go! It's foolproof!
If you do these six simple things, I guarantee you will get rid of your crappy pastor. Get your congregational leaders on board with this plan. Recruit the key people in the congregation to help you with it.
Pray for your pastor, make sure your crappy pastor takes all of the allotted vacation and days off, send your pastor to amazing continuing education events, recruit volunteers (or hire other staff) to fill in your pastor's weaknesses, and make sure your pastor is spending time praying, reading, and dreaming.
Yup, that's it. Do those things, and I guarantee you will stop complaining about your crappy pastor. You will hear better sermons. People will feel more ministered to. Exciting ideas will start to come from your council meetings.
And all these things without having to go through the search process and hire a new pastor!
Take these six steps, and watch your crappy pastor become the sort of pastor you have always wanted.
And So It Begins ...
In certain circles I am known as a bit of a social media enthusiast. I think is is an important way for churches, clergy, and others to communicate not just with each other but with the world. I live out my life in the public eye: both in real life as the pastor of a congregation in a small town, and on social media.
And yet, last week I was scooped on social media. On Thursday, Megan Dosher (@megateer) and I made our engagement official. She also is an avid user of social media in various forms, but it was not her. No, it was Megan's mother who had posted the news of our engagement to Facebook within minutes of getting off of the phone with us.
And thus began what will be a very public engagement and wedding. Megan and I followed her mother's suit, and shared the news on both Facebook and Twitter (our primary social media networks). And we plan on this trend continuing. We have every intention of using social media to the fullest as we plan and celebrate our marriage.
Why? There are two primary reasons. (1) We both live very public lives. Certainly in regard to our chosen professions, we are in the public eye. Especially in a small town. And we embrace that facet of our life - it is a part of who we are. In fact, it is a good thing! Living life publicly (with good boundaries, of course) encourages a life that is transparent and authentic.
(2) We believe that a wedding is a public event. It involves not just the couple, but as an act of the church it involves the whole body of Christ. In Christian marriage, we call on the faithful to support, pray for, and hold accountable the relationship that is blessed in marriage. And for Megan and I, that is not just the people who gather in our congregations on Sunday mornings. It is also our friends and loved ones on social media - with whom we converse, pray, learn, and worship. We want to include them in the public witness of our marriage.
And so, the journey begins. There will be updates here, on our respective facebook and twitter accounts, and who knows where else. Please feel free to follow along, join the conversation, and share in our joy!
Last fall, I had the privilege of being an advanced reader on Meredith Gould's Getting #Married: Using Social Media to Celebrate the Sacred. Megan & I have both read and earmarked this book, and recommend it to others considering using social media in planning and celebrating their wedding.
Social Media & the Church: Multiple Personalities
There is an epidemic among church leaders! As social media (facebook, twitter, google+, linkedin, etc) has grown in use, an ever increasing number of clergy and other leaders have developed multiple personalities. But wait, don't call in the American Psychological Association just yet. let me back up. As I pointed out in a previous post, the social media use of ministry leaders can be divided into five general groups:
- Only for personal use, only connecting with friends and family
- Only for professional use, everything they post related to their ministry, congregation, etc.
- Separating personal from professional, with a personal account for friends and family, and a professional account for congregational members.
- Integrating the personal & professional with one account
- Not at all (more clergy than you might expect, or perhaps not, given the church’s record for adopting new things)
I am interesting in talking about those of us who use social media for ministry - groups 2-4. There are some very good arguments why ministries should engage social media, already addressed by many folks in many places. But for now, I am going to stick to those of us who agree that we should be using social media for ministry purposes. Let me be up front: I fall into group #4. I think there are some very compelling reasons to have an integrated online persona, and I will get into that a little bit later.
Those who fall into groups 2 and 3 can be lumped together - their social media use is more less identical from a ministry perspective. Group #3 may post cute pictures of their kids, or complain about their day, but it is separate from their ministry account, so people following their ministry will not see it.
There are some very good, and some less good, reasons for pastors and others in ministry to use social media this way. Most importantly, it provides very clear and well defined boundaries. Not everyone who follows the ministry of the congregation wants to see pictures of the Pastor's vacation (especially not pasty Lutheran pastors on the beach!). Sometimes pastors need space to be honest about the congregations they serve - to vent a little bit - and it may not be a good thing for the whole congregation to see that private venting. Occasionally, a pastor may worry that what is said or implied on facebook - even if it is entirely unrelated to ministry - will be used as a weapon in next week's Council meeting (certainly no one in your congregation would ever do that, but in some of those other congregations). In general, this social media practice allows for a bit of differentiation between the pastoral office and the ministry on one hand, and the person who holds that office on the other.
Let me be clear: Although it is not how I use social media, I respect this position. I have colleagues who have been burned by not having clear boundaries, and they now try to avoid those pitfalls. I get it. But I do think there are some very good reasons to use social media in a more integrated way. First, a story.
A couple of weeks ago, my satellite receiver started acting a little strange. As a hopeless TV addict, this was unacceptable, so I put a call in to DirectTV. After walking through all the automated steps, I was on the phone with Lisa. Lisa was exceptionally friendly - we talked about my TV problems, and also about her family that lives in Texas and what shows she watches with her toddler. Lisa was not just helpful, she was friendly and personable. She scheduled a maintenance call for me, and in a couple of days James stopped by my house. James and I commiserated about driving in and around Houston, and about this horrible summer we're having. After those experiences, DirectTV is not just some brand name to me - it is Lisa and James. People do not relate to brands; people relate to people.
And social media is ultimately about relating to people - it is about community. If your whole facebook feed is updates about your congregation's worship services, people will begin to tune it out. If all of your tweets are links to to the ministry website or blog, other users are not going to engage your twitter account. People relate to real people, who live real lives.
In addition to opening up your social media following to a larger community, being personal also opens up a pastor's life so that parishioners can see him or her as more than just the person in the pulpit. As we share on social media sites, those who are involved in our ministries get to know us more and better -- and that draws us into more effective ministries in their lives.
Finally, I believe that it all eventually comes out. In the age of digital communication, there are no assurances that information will not get out. An email sent just to the congregational council can easily be forwarded on to someone outside the group. A status update posted to a private facebook account may be copied and pasted to someone else's profile. A protected tweet may be retweeted by someone else. It all comes out.
I live in a small town and if I am having lunch with someone downtown, there is a very good chance that anything I say may be overheard by an unintended audience. I treat social media like I do living here. Don't say things you wouldn't want everyone in your congregation or in the rest of your life to hear. Of course, this has been a great for my spirit as well -- If I wouldn't want someone to hear it, maybe I don't need to be saying it in the first place.
Ultimately, to quote someone much smarter than myself, I am who I am. I am the same person on Sunday morning as I am in downtown Brenham as I am on social media as I am in a small group Bible study. Pastor David is not a different person than just David.
Those who fall into groups 2 and 3 can be lumped together - their social media use is more less identical from a ministry perspective. Group #3 may post cute pictures of their kids, or complain about their day, but it is separate from their ministry account, so people following their ministry will not see it.
There are some very good, and some less good, reasons for pastors and others in ministry to use social media this way. Most importantly, it provides very clear and well defined boundaries. Not everyone who follows the ministry of the congregation wants to see pictures of the Pastor's vacation (especially not pasty Lutheran pastors on the beach!). Sometimes pastors need space to be honest about the congregations they serve - to vent a little bit - and it may not be a good thing for the whole congregation to see that private venting. Occasionally, a pastor may worry that what is said or implied on facebook - even if it is entirely unrelated to ministry - will be used as a weapon in next week's Council meeting (certainly no one in your congregation would ever do that, but in some of those other congregations). In general, this social media practice allows for a bit of differentiation between the pastoral office and the ministry on one hand, and the person who holds that office on the other.
Let me be clear: Although it is not how I use social media, I respect this position. I have colleagues who have been burned by not having clear boundaries, and they now try to avoid those pitfalls. I get it. But I do think there are some very good reasons to use social media in a more integrated way. First, a story.
A couple of weeks ago, my satellite receiver started acting a little strange. As a hopeless TV addict, this was unacceptable, so I put a call in to DirectTV. After walking through all the automated steps, I was on the phone with Lisa. Lisa was exceptionally friendly - we talked about my TV problems, and also about her family that lives in Texas and what shows she watches with her toddler. Lisa was not just helpful, she was friendly and personable. She scheduled a maintenance call for me, and in a couple of days James stopped by my house. James and I commiserated about driving in and around Houston, and about this horrible summer we're having. After those experiences, DirectTV is not just some brand name to me - it is Lisa and James. People do not relate to brands; people relate to people.
And social media is ultimately about relating to people - it is about community. If your whole facebook feed is updates about your congregation's worship services, people will begin to tune it out. If all of your tweets are links to to the ministry website or blog, other users are not going to engage your twitter account. People relate to real people, who live real lives.
In addition to opening up your social media following to a larger community, being personal also opens up a pastor's life so that parishioners can see him or her as more than just the person in the pulpit. As we share on social media sites, those who are involved in our ministries get to know us more and better -- and that draws us into more effective ministries in their lives.
Finally, I believe that it all eventually comes out. In the age of digital communication, there are no assurances that information will not get out. An email sent just to the congregational council can easily be forwarded on to someone outside the group. A status update posted to a private facebook account may be copied and pasted to someone else's profile. A protected tweet may be retweeted by someone else. It all comes out.
I live in a small town and if I am having lunch with someone downtown, there is a very good chance that anything I say may be overheard by an unintended audience. I treat social media like I do living here. Don't say things you wouldn't want everyone in your congregation or in the rest of your life to hear. Of course, this has been a great for my spirit as well -- If I wouldn't want someone to hear it, maybe I don't need to be saying it in the first place.
Ultimately, to quote someone much smarter than myself, I am who I am. I am the same person on Sunday morning as I am in downtown Brenham as I am on social media as I am in a small group Bible study. Pastor David is not a different person than just David.
Social Media & the Church: Who are Your Friends?
Over the last few months, I have been a part of numerous discussions about how the church generally and clergy specifically use social media – Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc. It has been a great discussion, and I have learned a great deal from my colleagues. There, however, one question where I find some disagreement (What?! Pastors disagree with one another?). I will come to that in a moment.
Generally, ministry leaders use social media in one of five ways.
For what I think are very good reasons, my social media usage follows model 4 more than anything else (more about that at another time). But, if pastors and other church leaders are going to use social media in any way as an extension of their church or their ministry (models 2-4 above), one question comes up fairly quickly: Should you initiate contact with members on social media? That is, should you friend them first on Facebook, or wait for them to friend you? Should you follow them on Twitter before they have followed you? Should you add them to a circle on Google+ if they have not circled you?
To be clear: this is a new issue in ministry. These are not questions that anyone could have imagined asking ten years ago; we are treading new ground here. The “accepted wisdom” – insofar as there is any – is that it is unwise for pastors or other church leaders to initiate contact on social media. I am not sure that I agree.
I get the reasoning. There is a power imbalance between pastor and parishioner. Members of the congregation may feel uncomfortable declining a friend request from their pastor, even if they do not want “the pastor” to see what is said on their wall. Church leaders (pastors, other rostered leaders, deacons, youth ministers, etc), should maintain healthy boundaries, and not insert themselves into the online lives of their members.
Really???
I wonder why this line is being drawn at social media. If you join the congregation that I serve, I will ask for your email address, your home phone number, and your cell phone number – and I will give you mine. You are welcome to decline to give me that information, but I am going to ask for it. I hope you know that you can trust me – as your pastor – to use such information responsibly and as is appropriate to our shared ministry and my call.
As a pastor, if I hear that a member is sick or in the hospital – whether that member tells me or I hear it from someone else – I am going to invite myself into that members home or hospital room. If it is at home I will probably call before I come over (not always), but I am going to initiate the contact and invite myself (the member is welcome to say no, but I would hope that they would trust me – as their pastor – to know that the visit is a part of my ministry and my call).
As pastor of the congregation, I may invite members into my home. Often for an open house or another congregation-wide, but sometimes (less often now that I am a single pastor) to share a meal. Those members are welcome to decline the invitation, and some do, but I am going to initiate the contact because it is a part of my ministry and my call to the congregation.
As pastors, most of us would see no problem “initiating contact” in these ways. We would view it as a part of our ministry, a part of our call to the congregation.
These illustrations, while imperfect (all illustrations are), get at the issue for me. Pastors are called to care for the members of the congregation that they serve (and other ministry leaders as well, in other ways). We are called to be a part of their lives – to help them to see the Gospel in their lives and to “care for their souls.” By calling me as their pastor, the congregation has initiated the engagement that we will then live out together. By calling me their pastor, members of the congregation have initiated our engagement together.
Our call to serve the congregation is our friend request. Our call to serve the congregation is our follow request. Our call serve the congregation is our invitation to be a part of the lives of the congregation.
Ministry leaders should be involved in the social media lives of their members. But we should do so with the same sense of responsibility that we use with every other aspect of our members lives. Mindful that we are being trusted not to abuse that relationship, and to only use it insofar as it is appropriate to our ministry. What that looks like is different in various settings and ministries, and we should be wary of one-size-fits-all solutions to using social media.
What do you think? Should pastors friend members (or otherwise initiate social media engagement)?
Generally, ministry leaders use social media in one of five ways.
- Only for personal use, only connecting with friends and family
- Only for professional use, everything they post related to their ministry, congregation, etc.
- Separating personal from professional, with a personal account for friends and family, and a professional account for congregational members.
- Integrating the personal & professional with one account
- Not at all (more clergy than you might expect, or perhaps not, given the church’s record for adopting new things)
For what I think are very good reasons, my social media usage follows model 4 more than anything else (more about that at another time). But, if pastors and other church leaders are going to use social media in any way as an extension of their church or their ministry (models 2-4 above), one question comes up fairly quickly: Should you initiate contact with members on social media? That is, should you friend them first on Facebook, or wait for them to friend you? Should you follow them on Twitter before they have followed you? Should you add them to a circle on Google+ if they have not circled you?
To be clear: this is a new issue in ministry. These are not questions that anyone could have imagined asking ten years ago; we are treading new ground here. The “accepted wisdom” – insofar as there is any – is that it is unwise for pastors or other church leaders to initiate contact on social media. I am not sure that I agree.
I get the reasoning. There is a power imbalance between pastor and parishioner. Members of the congregation may feel uncomfortable declining a friend request from their pastor, even if they do not want “the pastor” to see what is said on their wall. Church leaders (pastors, other rostered leaders, deacons, youth ministers, etc), should maintain healthy boundaries, and not insert themselves into the online lives of their members.
Really???
I wonder why this line is being drawn at social media. If you join the congregation that I serve, I will ask for your email address, your home phone number, and your cell phone number – and I will give you mine. You are welcome to decline to give me that information, but I am going to ask for it. I hope you know that you can trust me – as your pastor – to use such information responsibly and as is appropriate to our shared ministry and my call.
As a pastor, if I hear that a member is sick or in the hospital – whether that member tells me or I hear it from someone else – I am going to invite myself into that members home or hospital room. If it is at home I will probably call before I come over (not always), but I am going to initiate the contact and invite myself (the member is welcome to say no, but I would hope that they would trust me – as their pastor – to know that the visit is a part of my ministry and my call).
As pastor of the congregation, I may invite members into my home. Often for an open house or another congregation-wide, but sometimes (less often now that I am a single pastor) to share a meal. Those members are welcome to decline the invitation, and some do, but I am going to initiate the contact because it is a part of my ministry and my call to the congregation.
As pastors, most of us would see no problem “initiating contact” in these ways. We would view it as a part of our ministry, a part of our call to the congregation.
These illustrations, while imperfect (all illustrations are), get at the issue for me. Pastors are called to care for the members of the congregation that they serve (and other ministry leaders as well, in other ways). We are called to be a part of their lives – to help them to see the Gospel in their lives and to “care for their souls.” By calling me as their pastor, the congregation has initiated the engagement that we will then live out together. By calling me their pastor, members of the congregation have initiated our engagement together.
Our call to serve the congregation is our friend request. Our call to serve the congregation is our follow request. Our call serve the congregation is our invitation to be a part of the lives of the congregation.
Ministry leaders should be involved in the social media lives of their members. But we should do so with the same sense of responsibility that we use with every other aspect of our members lives. Mindful that we are being trusted not to abuse that relationship, and to only use it insofar as it is appropriate to our ministry. What that looks like is different in various settings and ministries, and we should be wary of one-size-fits-all solutions to using social media.
What do you think? Should pastors friend members (or otherwise initiate social media engagement)?
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