Earlier this week, I sent a letter to the members of St. John Lutheran Church, announcing my new call as the Pastor of Spirit of Joy! Lutheran Church. Portions of that letter follow:
Dear family of St. John,
It is with a mix of joy and sadness that I write to share the news that I have accepted a call to serve as the Pastor Redeveloper of Spirit of Joy! Lutheran Church in The Woodlands.
Megan and I have been praying about this decision and the future of St. John. This call is an exciting opportunity for our family and the right choice for our life together. As we look at the paths ahead of us as a family, it is the right time and opportunity for us to relocate. As a congregation in redevelopment, Spirit of Joy! is a great fit for my particular gifts and strengths in ministry. My last Sunday as the Pastor of St. John Lutheran Church will be May 4th, 2014.
In 2006, you took a chance on an untested Pastor straight out of seminary. In the eight years that followed we shared our lives with one another, and Prairie Hill became my home. We shared in joy – celebrating baptisms and confirmations, marriages and new jobs. We shared in sorrows – celebrating the lives of the saints at funerals, talking through the difficulties of life.
We have accomplished much over the last eight years. Together we have grown the ministry of St. John and seen glimpses of the Kingdom here. You have taught me much about the Gospel, the love of God, and what it means to be a community of faith. I could not have asked for a better first call experience than what I had at St. John. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
While I am not your pastor any longer, I am certainly your friend. I will continue to pray for you individually and as a congregation – and I hope that you will pray for me and my family and the ministry at Spirit of Joy! Lutheran Church.
With my deepest gratitude and love,
David Hansen
Showing posts with label ELCA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ELCA. Show all posts
Bishop Chat 1/23/14
The second Bishop Chat took place on January 23, 2014. Talking with Bishop Mike Rinehart and others about the theme of Sabbath.
#BishopChat
The inaugural #BishopChat took place today. The idea for the chat came out of a conversation between Bishop Mike Rinehart and me. We thought that this could be a great way to give anyone who wanted to take part the opportunity to have a conversation with the Bishop.
We covered a wide range of topics, letting the chat participants guide our conversation. The result was even better than we could have hoped for. In this very first chat we talked with not one, but three bishops (2 ELCA, and one Episcopal). We had a class at one of our ELCA seminaries join the conversation, too.
Thank you to everyone who took part in this chat - especially Bishop Mike and Andrea Martinez (our synod Director of Communications, who was providing lots of behind the scenes support). We are working on making this a reoccurring event, and are scheduling the next one for January. Stay tuned!
We covered a wide range of topics, letting the chat participants guide our conversation. The result was even better than we could have hoped for. In this very first chat we talked with not one, but three bishops (2 ELCA, and one Episcopal). We had a class at one of our ELCA seminaries join the conversation, too.
Thank you to everyone who took part in this chat - especially Bishop Mike and Andrea Martinez (our synod Director of Communications, who was providing lots of behind the scenes support). We are working on making this a reoccurring event, and are scheduling the next one for January. Stay tuned!
An Open Letter to the New Presiding Bishop
Bishop Eaton:
Congratulations! There is much to be said about your election as the 4th Presiding Bishop of the ELCA. Your election has sparked energy across our church, and for that I am grateful.
In interviews following your election you said that congregations that aren't online are invisible; that we need to become more creative in using social media to share the faith. Such statements from our new Presiding Bishop excite me and fill me with hope for our church.
I have watched my generation move our community centers from the local park to social media. We value and deeply desire community; and often the desire for community overflows into the digital world where we talk about our lives and those things that matter most to us. I then watched as our parents and grandparents joined us at those online water-coolers. I have watched our children find new ways to use digital media to make meaning of their world.
And far too often I have watched the church -- our church -- sit on the sidelines. People are gathering at the digital community centers to talk about the world in which we live, and discuss how we make sense of the events of the news and our lives. And the voice of the church is silent.
As a pastor who teaches technology, I have learned that organizations are only effective in treading new paths if their leaders are out in front. Or -- to put it another way -- the congregations that have an effective online presence are those congregations in which the pastors are leading the way with their own digital presence.
Bishop Eaton, if the ELCA is going to have a voice in the digital conversation, we need you out front.
Show us by your example what it looks like for the church to preach hope in the digital age. Grant permission by your example for congregations and ministries to reach out to their communities using digital tools. Help us by your example to transition from being an invisible church being a church that creatively proclaims the Gospel.
It can be daunting, and there are certainly challenges to online ministry. But there are many of us (both within the ELCA and without) who have been using digital tools for ministry, and exploring what online communities mean for the church. We are eager to help. Reach out to us, talk with us, and ask for advice. We are all in this for the good of God's Kingdom.
The birth of our Lutheran tradition was made possible by a revolution in communications. Finding ourselves in the midst of another communications revolution, we are presented with a wonderful opportunity for rebirth and renewal within our church.
Thank you, Bishop, for your willingness to accept this call to serve as our Presiding Bishop. And may God bless your ministry!
Review: "Pastrix" by Nadia Bolz-Weber
Pastor Nadia does not put on a false front -- you get Nadia, 100%, in every encounter. Authenticity pervades her ministry -- whether online, in print, or (I would expect) in person. Pastrix is quite simply the most heartbreakingly, joyfully honest book I have read in a very long time. I can't remember the last time a book evoked as much raw emotion from me as Pastrix has. I laughed and cried throughout this book. It is beautiful.
And, you probably should not buy this book, especially if you:
- think Christians should have it all pulled together, know all the answers, and never seem flawed.
- think the F-word is extremely offensive. (No really, make no mistake. Nadia curses with frequency, creativity, and conviction).
- use the word "liberal" as an insult.
- are offended by the idea that God might invite gay and lesbian people fully into the life of the church.
- think Christians ought to most resemble June and Ward Cleaver.
- have a perfect life, never have any doubts, and are suspicious of anyone who is not the same.
I mean this in all honesty; Pastrix is probably not for everyone. In fact, I know lots of good, church-going people who will be angry about this book, who will not like this book, and (if they read it) will be outraged at everything that Nadia's ministry represents.
I wish that were not the case. I wish we could hear. I wish we were not so caught up in comfortable cultural norms that prevent us from hearing the Good News of God's love in ways that speak loudest to those on the outside. I wish we could see more clearly how Jesus loved and welcomed misfits and troublemakers, and would do the same in our lives.
But, I think it's okay that not everyone will enjoy or "like" this book. Pastor Nadia's ministry at House for All Sinners and Saints has never been about adhering to a traditional model of church. It has been a community for people who don't fit in anywhere else, who are not always welcomed into more traditional churches.
So maybe this book is for you, especially if you:
- have ever been hurt by people who say "Everyone is Welcome" but don't really mean it.
- struggle with your failures and flaws and shortcomings.
- consider yourself a person of faith, or maybe a person considering faith, but you are wary of the church.
- want -- or need -- a God who is all about second chances.
- If you are looking for the Shepherd who will come into the dark and broken places of life, this book is for you.
At the end of the day, Pastrix is not a book about Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber. Pastrix is a memoir of grace -- and not grace that is polished and cleaned up so that it can be put on a shelf and admired.
Pastrix is not about grace "in theory." Pastor Nadia's story, her friends' stories, and stories of members at House for All Sinners and Saints reveal gritty, real grace. A story of grace that shows up at rock bottom, in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, in the broken places of life. A story of grace that does not wait for us to become good or perfect or nice, that does not wait for us come to church, but instead comes and finds us where we are.
Pastrix is not about grace "in theory." Pastor Nadia's story, her friends' stories, and stories of members at House for All Sinners and Saints reveal gritty, real grace. A story of grace that shows up at rock bottom, in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, in the broken places of life. A story of grace that does not wait for us to become good or perfect or nice, that does not wait for us come to church, but instead comes and finds us where we are.
Pastrix is a book that I will read over and over again, because I need to be reminded of who I am, and reminded that God does not give up on any of us.
(Order Pastrix on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or support local booksellers and purchase it in a brick and mortar store)
(Order Pastrix on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or support local booksellers and purchase it in a brick and mortar store)
The Secret of Ministry
There is one fact of ministry that cannot be emphasized enough.
We talk about the long hours pastors work, and the tendency for burnout. We talk about how congregations and pastors can work together better. We talk about educational requirements, and skills.
But there is the one fact that matters most. One fact that we don't talk about enough, and which not enough people realize: We (pastors) love you.
Every pastor I know deeply loves the people he or she has been called to serve and deeply loves the church. Deeply. We don't do this work because of the pay; we don't do it because of the "prestige" or "authority" of the pastoral office; we don't do it because we think it is holier than other work.
We do it because we love the people we serve and we love the church. Whether a senior pastor or an associate, whether a rector or a bishop, whether a chaplain or a preacher, everyone who is in ministry is in it because we love the people. (See my advice for new pastors).
This week, the Rev. Elizabeth Eaton was elected as the Presiding Bishop of the ELCA; which means that the Rev. Mark Hanson will no longer be serving in that role. Bishops in particular are subjected to a scrutiny and a second guessing of their motives. What agenda are they pushing? What is the real reason they make certain decisions?
This picture, taken by Brett Nelson in the evening after that election, sums up the truth of the matter: like all other pastors, our leaders love the people whom they serve and they love the church. I think every pastor has had this moment.
Thank you, Bishop Hanson, for loving the people.
Photo by Brett Nelson, used with permission.
We talk about the long hours pastors work, and the tendency for burnout. We talk about how congregations and pastors can work together better. We talk about educational requirements, and skills.
But there is the one fact that matters most. One fact that we don't talk about enough, and which not enough people realize: We (pastors) love you.
Every pastor I know deeply loves the people he or she has been called to serve and deeply loves the church. Deeply. We don't do this work because of the pay; we don't do it because of the "prestige" or "authority" of the pastoral office; we don't do it because we think it is holier than other work.
We do it because we love the people we serve and we love the church. Whether a senior pastor or an associate, whether a rector or a bishop, whether a chaplain or a preacher, everyone who is in ministry is in it because we love the people. (See my advice for new pastors).
This week, the Rev. Elizabeth Eaton was elected as the Presiding Bishop of the ELCA; which means that the Rev. Mark Hanson will no longer be serving in that role. Bishops in particular are subjected to a scrutiny and a second guessing of their motives. What agenda are they pushing? What is the real reason they make certain decisions?
This picture, taken by Brett Nelson in the evening after that election, sums up the truth of the matter: like all other pastors, our leaders love the people whom they serve and they love the church. I think every pastor has had this moment.
Thank you, Bishop Hanson, for loving the people.
Photo by Brett Nelson, used with permission.
Get Your Groove On
ELCA Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson, getting his groove on at the Southeastern Synod Assembly, 2013.
Learning the Cupid Shuffle from Linda Few at the Southeastern Synod assembly! twitter.com/bishophanson/s…— Bishop Hanson (@bishophanson) June 1, 2013
"Do We Mean It?" Pentecost 2013
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"Do We Mean It?" A sermon for the Pentecost Sunday, preached at St. John Lutheran Church of Prairie Hill on May 19, 2013. Text: Acts 2:1-21.
Thank you to Pastor Rafael Malpica Padilla for his call at the 2013 Gulf Coast Synod Assembly to be a church that is disturbed by the Holy Spirit.\
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2013 Texas-Louisiana Gulf Coast Synod Assembly
What does a Synod Assembly look like on Twitter?
The 2013 Assembly of the TX-LA Gulf Coast Synod met May 16-18 at Camp Allen. The assembly was focused on Global Mission, welcoming Pastor Rafael Malpica Padilla and Pastor Sunitha Mortha as speakers. This is an archive of the tweetstream from the weekend
The Best Advice Ever
What do you say to someone who is thinking about seminary?
How can you encourage someone who might be called to ordained ministry?
Very often - for all the right reasons - those of us who love the church respond like vampires. Fresh blood! Quick, don't let it get away!
And so we encourage. "You really should go to seminary." "Parish ministry is awesome." We talk up the best parts of parish ministry (and there are lots of them) and we talk up the gifts of the person we are trying to encourage (which also may be many).
This is an important role to play. If you talk to anyone who is in ministry, chances are that countless people along the way encouraged them to consider seminary. With most clergy (although certainly not all), we experienced lots of affirmation of our gifts on the road to parish ministry. To be clear: For these encouragers and affirmers, I am deeply grateful. I would not be where I am without them.
But while listening to a recent Freakonomics podcast, I was reminded of the greatest advice I received on my road to ordination. It came from my Grandfather, in the last months of his life.
Grandpa Hansen was a pastor. 57 years of ordained ministry. He had served in the ULCA, the LCA, and the ELCA; he was a mission developer, a regularly called parish pastor, and an intentional interim. He was also a preacher's kid, growing up in parsonages as a child of the church. He was also the father of a pastor. Gramps knew the church.
Toward the very end of his life, Gramps had some short-term memory loss. He remembered my parents, but as we gathered for Sunday dinner I had to be re-introduced to him.
"This your grandson, David," said my Mom. "He's in seminary, preparing to be a pastor like you and Chris. Do you have any advice for him?"
Gramps looked up and thought for a moment, said, "Consider another line of work," then when back to eating his Sunday lunch.
The best advice I ever got in my preparation for ministry: "Consider another line of work."
Here is the truth:
If you are called to ordination, nothing else will make you feel as fulfilled as ordained ministry.
And if you are not called to ordination, nothing else will make you feel as miserable as ordained ministry.
And if you are not called to ordination, nothing else will make you feel as miserable as ordained ministry.
Consider another line of work.
Is there another way to live out your calling? Are there aspects of parish ministry that appeal to you, but others that you hate to think about? Consider another line of work.
Are you pursuing ordination to make someone else happy - parents, pastor, or others? Are you considering ordination because you "should"? Consider another line of work.
Often, our first reaction when someone pushes back against a feeling of being called to ministry is to get defensive. But the truth is, the pushback is necessary. Sit with the idea of doing something else. Give it serious consideration.
There are lots of important vocations (lived out to the glory of God, there are only important vocations). There are lots of ways to serve God. There are lots of ways to minister to God's people. Ordained parish ministry is just one.
I'm not saying you aren't called to ordained ministry. Maybe you are - truth is, I hope you are. But give thought to where your mission in the world is. What would you do if not ordained ministry? What would you pursue if not this? And if you did those things, would you be just as fulfilled as you would in parish ministry?
Are you thinking about seminary? Listen to the wisdom of Rodney Hansen: Consider another line of work. Rule out all other possibilities.
And if, having considered all other lines of work -- having ruled out all other options -- you discover that the call to ordained parish ministry still rings loudest in your heart, then jump in.
What about you? What is the best vocational / career advice you have ever received?
(Freakonomics Podcast, The Upside of Quitting, transcript and audio)
(Considering seminary? Here are some tools to begin the conversation. Talk with your pastor to explore your options.)
The Ends of the Earth, Easter 4C
For more from Bishop Mike, visit his blog, follow him on twitter, or connect on facebook.
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5 Pieces of Advice for New Pastors
For the last year, I have served as Dean of my local conference. For those not in the ELCA, a conference is a small geographically defined division of the church. Among my responsibilities is the installation of pastors who are new to the area as they begin a new calls.
So I deal with pastors who are are starting in a new position in a congregation and community. I also deal with new pastors - pastors who are newly ordained and learning what it means to be a pastor in the parish. I get to think about what would be helpful for new pastors and people in new calls. Whether I am preaching an installation sermon or sitting down for coffee, I often get to ponder: What is the best advice for new pastors? As it happens, today as I sat down after noon midweek worship, I am watching the most widely publicized pastoral transition in the world -- there is white smoke, a new Pope has been elected.
So whether you are newly ordained, starting a new call, or just found out that the conclave elected you as Pope, here is my advice for a new pastor.
1) Love the people.
Welcome to your new call. First, love the people in your church on Sunday morning. They are strangers to you, you don't know their names yet. Sit and learn at their feet. Who are they? What matters to them? What are their values? What are their needs? Listen, listen, listen, and love your new people.
2) Love the people.
There are people who will peek around the church, checking you out. Will you be different from your predecessor? Will you be the same? Often they are hurt. Scarred. Damaged. Looking to see if you are a threat or a comfort. Love the hurting people.
3) Love the people.
Outside the doors of your church, there are lots of people. Some of them are potential members of your church. Many of them will never be members of your church. But they are your community. Get involved in the life of your community outside the sanctuary doors. Know how the community celebrates and how it hurts. Learn what the needs are in the community and where the broken people are. Get out in the the community, and love the people.
4) Love the people.
Soon. Maybe not your first Sunday, maybe not your second, but soon, there will be conflict. The honeymoon will end. Someone or a group will criticize your decisions and the way you do things. They may insult you and hurt your feelings. Your instinct will be to defend yourself, or even to fight back. Don't. Bite your tongue. Sit back and wait. Listen to the criticism, with grace and humility. Love the people, especially when they are hard to love.
5) Love the people.
Take care of yourself. As you jump into your new position, the tendency will be to try to do everything. If you are exhausted and spiritually drained, you are no help to anyone. Pay special attention to your prayer life. Pray for your congregation. Pray for your leaders. Pray for your community. And do not be afraid to ask them to pray for you! Do not be afraid to let them love you and take care of you. Love the people, and let them love you.
What advice would you add?
So I deal with pastors who are are starting in a new position in a congregation and community. I also deal with new pastors - pastors who are newly ordained and learning what it means to be a pastor in the parish. I get to think about what would be helpful for new pastors and people in new calls. Whether I am preaching an installation sermon or sitting down for coffee, I often get to ponder: What is the best advice for new pastors? As it happens, today as I sat down after noon midweek worship, I am watching the most widely publicized pastoral transition in the world -- there is white smoke, a new Pope has been elected.
So whether you are newly ordained, starting a new call, or just found out that the conclave elected you as Pope, here is my advice for a new pastor.
1) Love the people.
Welcome to your new call. First, love the people in your church on Sunday morning. They are strangers to you, you don't know their names yet. Sit and learn at their feet. Who are they? What matters to them? What are their values? What are their needs? Listen, listen, listen, and love your new people.
2) Love the people.
There are people who will peek around the church, checking you out. Will you be different from your predecessor? Will you be the same? Often they are hurt. Scarred. Damaged. Looking to see if you are a threat or a comfort. Love the hurting people.
3) Love the people.
Outside the doors of your church, there are lots of people. Some of them are potential members of your church. Many of them will never be members of your church. But they are your community. Get involved in the life of your community outside the sanctuary doors. Know how the community celebrates and how it hurts. Learn what the needs are in the community and where the broken people are. Get out in the the community, and love the people.
4) Love the people.
Soon. Maybe not your first Sunday, maybe not your second, but soon, there will be conflict. The honeymoon will end. Someone or a group will criticize your decisions and the way you do things. They may insult you and hurt your feelings. Your instinct will be to defend yourself, or even to fight back. Don't. Bite your tongue. Sit back and wait. Listen to the criticism, with grace and humility. Love the people, especially when they are hard to love.
5) Love the people.
Take care of yourself. As you jump into your new position, the tendency will be to try to do everything. If you are exhausted and spiritually drained, you are no help to anyone. Pay special attention to your prayer life. Pray for your congregation. Pray for your leaders. Pray for your community. And do not be afraid to ask them to pray for you! Do not be afraid to let them love you and take care of you. Love the people, and let them love you.
What advice would you add?
Dangerous Love, Epiphany 4C
"Dangerous Love"A sermon for the Fourth Sunday after Epiphany (Year C). Preached at St. John Lutheran Church of Prairie Hill on February 4, 2013.
Texts: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 and Luke 4:21-30.
(Thanks to the Rev. Michael Bos for the Wedding Crashers illustration, which he used in his sermon. The story of the child and father learning about history is adapted from my (poor) recollection of the "Kid Logic" episode of This American Life)
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Leading Leaders
Every January, the congregational council of St. John sets aside to talk about the year ahead. We talk about our dreams for the future of St. John, about the specific duties of the various committees within the church, and what our time together will be like.
For the last two years, we have spent some time setting out our expectations of one another. Rather than a job description handed out by the pastor, the Council breaks into small groups and comes back what they think should be expected of council members. What we have come up with is extremely helpful set of expectations for leaders in our church.
A council member should:
For the last two years, we have spent some time setting out our expectations of one another. Rather than a job description handed out by the pastor, the Council breaks into small groups and comes back what they think should be expected of council members. What we have come up with is extremely helpful set of expectations for leaders in our church.
A council member should:
- Lead by example
- Be regular in worship
- Stand by his or her convictions
- Be knowledgeable about the congregation
- Be involved in the ministry of the congregation
- Listen well, and often
- Be open to new ideas and options
- Be a team player / Support council decisions
- Keep confidences
- Be compassionate and caring
A council member should not:
- Be uncompromising or hard-headed
- Focus only on the short team; be short-sighted
- Have a personal agenda
- Be indifferent or dismissive
- Be unwilling to change
A week in the life of the Parson
My friend and colleague, Clint Schnekloth, recently challenged his Lutheran pastor friends to share a summary of our experiences during the week. A chance for us to learn from one another, and for our non-clergy friends to get a peek into what a pastor's life looks like.
As a caveat: there is no such thing as a normal week in the life of a pastor. Every week has something unusual - a funeral, a wedding, a pastoral emergency, etc. So I this just happens to be the week immediately after Pastor Schnekloth invited us to share our experiences. (Ok, it wound up being an octave, not a week. But you get the idea).
Saturday, January 12
Wedding, and pre-Sunday. If there is a wedding, it pretty much takes all day (although the service itself is not terribly long). Over to church around noon to unlock and set the heat or air conditioning for the day. Into my office to fine tune my wedding sermon and service. Greet family and friends and make sure that everything is ready. Weddings can be frustrating for a pastor, but it is also a great joy and privilege to spend time with families as the celebrate.
Off to the reception, which I usually leave fairly early. By about 8:00pm on any given Saturday night, my mind turns to Sunday morning. There is something to the Jewish practice of beginning a day at sunset the night prior. I am thinking about my sermon, thinking about the liturgy, thinking about Sunday School. Not exactly the party guy. So I try to be home by 9:00pm on Saturdays -- it really is better for everyone.
Sunday, January 13
"Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!" The big show. Yes, the things I do all week long are important. But what happens on Sunday goes a long way toward shaping who we are on a community. I am usually at church between 5:30-6:00am. A practice I learned from my Dad. Tweak the sermon. Practice the sermon and the liturgy. Make sure that everything is where it needs to be. Spend some extra time in prayer, asking for God to speak to our community -- knowing that without God, all of my preparation is meaningless.
This particular Sunday, there is also our afternoon confirmation class with two other community churches. So after the service it is a quick bite to eat, and then time to go over my lesson. And then the confirmation students arrive, and we are off to the races.
By the time I am home at 6:30pm, I am done. For this introvert, that is a lot of time spent with large groups. Sundays are joyful and exciting, and also exhausting.
Monday, January 14
After an especially busy Sunday, a slow start to Monday. Responding to emails and phone calls (Did you ever notice that emails and phone calls seem to come like a tidal wave on Monday mornings?). After hearing at church that a friend and neighbor was sick, word came this morning that he died last night. I went to the family's house, and sat with his widow and family for a little while, offering prayer and my sympathies. Then back to the office, post a podcast from Christmas (catching up!) and to finish reports and paperwork for our first council meeting of the new year. I love our council meetings. I have the privilege of working with a great group of leaders, and this year is no exception. A great time at our first meeting.
Tuesday, January 15
A Presbyterian teaching elder, an Episcopal priest, a UCC pastor, and two Lutheran pastors walk into the room. No, really. Every Tuesday morning, we have a time to sit down and study the Scriptures for Sunday ahead. It is a wonderful time of study, support, and prayer. From there, I went off to the hospital to visit a member who had surgery. I spent some time visiting with him and his family. And then, a young women noticed my collar and asked me to come visit with her family. Her dad was being removed from life support today. So, with this family I had just met, we prayed together. We talked about God and about faith and about suffering. We cried together. It was a holy afternoon.
Back at the office, I finished up my written annual report so that the annual meeting materials could get mailed out to the congregation on Wednesday. On Tuesday evenings, I meet on twitter for a conversation about using technology and social media in ministry, which a community of which I am a part called Church Social Media (#chsocm). The hour spent in that conversation every week helps me to develop new skills and think about ministry in new ways.
Then it was family game night time!
Wednesday, January 16
Odds and ends. A little bit of this and a little bit of that.
A couple of pop-in visits at the nursing home to see how everyone was doing. A couple of phone calls to follow up on things. A chuck of time on ye olde sermon. Giving the final once over to the bulletin. Our monthly fellowship lunch with the men of the congregation.
And then evening meetings. Met with the volunteers who put together the powerpoint presentations for Sunday morning. It served as an orientation for new volunteers, as well as an introduction to our new laptop (Windows 8, yuck) for people who have served there for a while. From there, straight to another meeting about our building use with a group who is working up a proposal for a new activity center for the congregation. It is exciting to work on this sort of project, which is driven not by the pastor but by creative and forward thinking members.
Thursday, January 17
Funeral for the friend who died earlier in the week. A beautiful memorial for this well-known member of our community.
Then, getting ready for our annual Council retreat on Saturday. Every year, the Council devotes a day to a) learning about their responsibilities as council members and b) dreaming about the future of St. John. Most of Thursday was spent preparing my materials for that conversation, as well as picking up supplies and making handouts and all those other preparations.
Friday, January 18
Sabbath. A day of rest. Mostly. Yes, some time spent reading, and some time spent doing chores. But also some goofing off and some plain old enjoyment of this life that God has given us. Lots of time with my daughter and wife.
At some point in the last few years, I the listing of this day in our monthly calendar. It used to say "Pastor's Day Off" and now says "Pastor's Sabbath." As in, "Six days you shall work, but the seventh day shall be a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On that day, you shall do no work." Not God's suggestion to get a little rest. God's command. You shall rest.
Friday doesn't always work for my Sabbath. Other things come up that must be dealt with. But I try to be faithful to my responsibility to take a day of rest.
Saturday, January 19
Men's breakfast first thing in the morning, and then: Council retreat.
As I said, I have a great time with the leadership of St. John. I really think that church leadership should be joyful - and we live that out in our life together at St. John. So, we had a great day getting to know one another, laughing together, dreaming together, praying together, and doing business of the church together.
And then it starts all over again.
As a caveat: there is no such thing as a normal week in the life of a pastor. Every week has something unusual - a funeral, a wedding, a pastoral emergency, etc. So I this just happens to be the week immediately after Pastor Schnekloth invited us to share our experiences. (Ok, it wound up being an octave, not a week. But you get the idea).
Saturday, January 12
Off to the reception, which I usually leave fairly early. By about 8:00pm on any given Saturday night, my mind turns to Sunday morning. There is something to the Jewish practice of beginning a day at sunset the night prior. I am thinking about my sermon, thinking about the liturgy, thinking about Sunday School. Not exactly the party guy. So I try to be home by 9:00pm on Saturdays -- it really is better for everyone.
Sunday, January 13
"Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!" The big show. Yes, the things I do all week long are important. But what happens on Sunday goes a long way toward shaping who we are on a community. I am usually at church between 5:30-6:00am. A practice I learned from my Dad. Tweak the sermon. Practice the sermon and the liturgy. Make sure that everything is where it needs to be. Spend some extra time in prayer, asking for God to speak to our community -- knowing that without God, all of my preparation is meaningless.
This particular Sunday, there is also our afternoon confirmation class with two other community churches. So after the service it is a quick bite to eat, and then time to go over my lesson. And then the confirmation students arrive, and we are off to the races.
By the time I am home at 6:30pm, I am done. For this introvert, that is a lot of time spent with large groups. Sundays are joyful and exciting, and also exhausting.
Monday, January 14
After an especially busy Sunday, a slow start to Monday. Responding to emails and phone calls (Did you ever notice that emails and phone calls seem to come like a tidal wave on Monday mornings?). After hearing at church that a friend and neighbor was sick, word came this morning that he died last night. I went to the family's house, and sat with his widow and family for a little while, offering prayer and my sympathies. Then back to the office, post a podcast from Christmas (catching up!) and to finish reports and paperwork for our first council meeting of the new year. I love our council meetings. I have the privilege of working with a great group of leaders, and this year is no exception. A great time at our first meeting.
Tuesday, January 15
A Presbyterian teaching elder, an Episcopal priest, a UCC pastor, and two Lutheran pastors walk into the room. No, really. Every Tuesday morning, we have a time to sit down and study the Scriptures for Sunday ahead. It is a wonderful time of study, support, and prayer. From there, I went off to the hospital to visit a member who had surgery. I spent some time visiting with him and his family. And then, a young women noticed my collar and asked me to come visit with her family. Her dad was being removed from life support today. So, with this family I had just met, we prayed together. We talked about God and about faith and about suffering. We cried together. It was a holy afternoon.
Back at the office, I finished up my written annual report so that the annual meeting materials could get mailed out to the congregation on Wednesday. On Tuesday evenings, I meet on twitter for a conversation about using technology and social media in ministry, which a community of which I am a part called Church Social Media (#chsocm). The hour spent in that conversation every week helps me to develop new skills and think about ministry in new ways.
Then it was family game night time!
Wednesday, January 16
Odds and ends. A little bit of this and a little bit of that.
A couple of pop-in visits at the nursing home to see how everyone was doing. A couple of phone calls to follow up on things. A chuck of time on ye olde sermon. Giving the final once over to the bulletin. Our monthly fellowship lunch with the men of the congregation.
And then evening meetings. Met with the volunteers who put together the powerpoint presentations for Sunday morning. It served as an orientation for new volunteers, as well as an introduction to our new laptop (Windows 8, yuck) for people who have served there for a while. From there, straight to another meeting about our building use with a group who is working up a proposal for a new activity center for the congregation. It is exciting to work on this sort of project, which is driven not by the pastor but by creative and forward thinking members.
Thursday, January 17
Funeral for the friend who died earlier in the week. A beautiful memorial for this well-known member of our community.
Then, getting ready for our annual Council retreat on Saturday. Every year, the Council devotes a day to a) learning about their responsibilities as council members and b) dreaming about the future of St. John. Most of Thursday was spent preparing my materials for that conversation, as well as picking up supplies and making handouts and all those other preparations.
Friday, January 18
Sabbath. A day of rest. Mostly. Yes, some time spent reading, and some time spent doing chores. But also some goofing off and some plain old enjoyment of this life that God has given us. Lots of time with my daughter and wife.
At some point in the last few years, I the listing of this day in our monthly calendar. It used to say "Pastor's Day Off" and now says "Pastor's Sabbath." As in, "Six days you shall work, but the seventh day shall be a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On that day, you shall do no work." Not God's suggestion to get a little rest. God's command. You shall rest.
Friday doesn't always work for my Sabbath. Other things come up that must be dealt with. But I try to be faithful to my responsibility to take a day of rest.
Saturday, January 19
Men's breakfast first thing in the morning, and then: Council retreat.
As I said, I have a great time with the leadership of St. John. I really think that church leadership should be joyful - and we live that out in our life together at St. John. So, we had a great day getting to know one another, laughing together, dreaming together, praying together, and doing business of the church together.
And then it starts all over again.
(Clerical) Suit Up!
Whatever you call it, the stiff white collar worn by many clergy (most often with a black shirt) is funny looking. Many pastors and priests have abandoned clerical collars. They are too formal. They make us (clergy) look different than everyone else - and we want people to know that we are just like them. Clergy want to seem more approachable, more relaxed, more laid back. We don't necessarily want to be connected to institutional religion in an age when people don't trust institutional religion.
All good reasons to abandon the clerical collar. And yet, I remain someone who wears clericals more often than not. I have outlined before some reasons why I do so. However, the greatest reason is this: I want people who are looking for a representative of God / the church to be able to find me; and to find me easily.
But, you may say, people don't really go looking for a representative of God or the church. And most of the time you are right. But when people get to the end of their rope, when people start feeling overwhelmed they do. Or, to put it another way, people do not start looking for someone in a clerical collar until their need is great.
The analogy I've always used is police officers. If I am in need of help, I am much more likely to look for a police officer in uniform than I am a police officer in plain clothes. Granted, it is not often that I am looking for a police officer. But when I am, I need to be able to find one as soon as possible.
So too, clergy. It is may not be often that a person is looking for a pastor, but when they are they often need to be able to find one as soon as possible.
Yesterday, I went to the hospital and visited with a member recovering from surgery. Walking out of the Critical Care Unit to go visit with the family in the waiting room, a young woman stopped me. "Will you be in the hospital long today? They are taking my Dad off life support today."
I told her I would be back. I went and visited with the family of the congregation member who went through surgery. I went back into the Critical Care Unit, and met the young woman's mother and her father. We prayed together. We cried together.
We watched as the ventilator tube was removed from the man. And then we sat together some more. We talked about God and suffering and pain. We cried some more. We prayed some more.
I spent about 3 hours in that room - because I was wearing a collar. They were experiencing the long dark night, and they needed - desperately - someone who could speak with them about faith and God, someone who represented the church. And I was the guy in the funny looking collar.
There is no argument that can outweigh my experience with that family yesterday (and others I have had like it).
And so, in the words of Barney Stinson, I will continue to "suit up."
What do you do, Pastor?
In a group of Lutheran clergy, the topic of "What does the pastor do?" recently came up. We all agreed that there are many things that pastors do that might surprise the members of the churches we serve. What follows is an edited list from that discussion. This list could easily be significantly larger. Call it a glimpse into pastoral ministry. (Many thanks to the ELCA Clergy group on Facebook!)
Listen to you, your spouse, your child, your co-worker,
neighbor, Aunt Betty, grandpa, and whoever else might need to talk. With no
judgement, and no insurance paperwork to fill out.
Cook for visitors to the house, and for congregational
meals.
Stop by the church at 10:00 pm and turn off the lights that
someone missed earlier.
Share in the most sacred and profound moments of life.
Make coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
Sit in the hospital and hold a loved one’s hand as he or she dies. Be a shoulder for family
members to cry on as they grieve.
Just by being present, lower the average age of the
congregation.
Water the newly planted tree given in memory of Great-Aunt
Myrtle.
Take out the trash.
Attend sporting events, concerts, and other school activities
for youth of the church.
Gain weight eating at every congregational meal and event.
Model the love of Jesus, even when you are in a really
bad mood.
Help local police, firefighters, and EMTs keep their faith
in the face of horrible tragedies.
Rush to the emergency room in the middle of the night when there
is a tragic accident, whether or not it involves a member of the congregation.
Write a pile of letters of recommendation.
Write birthday cards and thank you notes. Lots and lots of
thank you notes and birthday cards.
Keep up with all the news and how it impacts the community: read
newspapers, blogs, magazines, and more.
Dream about the future of the congregation: What is possible
for us? Where is God leading us?
Know who is in the hospital . Even when no one tells you.
Know who is in the hospital . Even when no one tells you.
Celebrate with families in times of joy.
Unlock the church doors at 8:00 am so flowers can be
delivered for the afternoon wedding.
Visit with people in Nursing Homes and hospitals, knowing at
times that you are the only visitor they will see.
Call Child Protective Services.
Visit the people that no one else wants to spend time with
in the county jail.
Find the dead mouse in the church, hoping the smell is gone
by Sunday.
Keep up with the latest in theology: Read biblical
commentaries, journals, works of fiction, blogs, and monographs.
Learn how to change gears, going from mourning at a deathbed
to rejoicing with newlyweds in the same day.
Unclog toilets!
Tend the headaches created by the previous pastor; create
headaches for the next pastor.
Supervise interns and even have the nerve not to
unconditionally recommend them.
Make jokes to reassure the bride and groom who just saw
their unity candle go out right after they lit it.
Creatively figure out how to celebrate the major holidays
with your family – knowing that you will have to preside at worship and then be
on call.
Know that emergencies are drawn to holidays like moths to a
flame. Chances are good that someone will die/have an accident/have a family
emergency on Christmas, or New Year, or Easter, or the 4th of July.
Fold chairs. Move tables.
Choose hymns for worship – Hymns that are contemporary, but
not new; hymns that everyone knows but that aren’t the same hymns we always
sing.
Learn to receive compliments well from loving and supportive
members. Learn to shrug off unwarranted criticism from thoughtless members.
Help people to see (and then use!) the gift that God has
given to them.
Answer the phone when emergencies happen at 3:00am, and
still be cheery and ready for worship at 8am.
Listen. And then listen. And then listen some more.
Help people to laugh when they need to – Even if it is at
you.
Let people cry when they need to – Even if you cry with
them.
Separate the trash from the recycling. Make runs to the recycling center.
Study the Bible. Read the Bible. Pray the Bible.
Paperwork! Write reports to Council, write reports to the
synod, write proposals for committees, reports to the congregation …
Hear Confession -
sometimes formally and ritually, sometimes informally over coffee or a beer.
Lead worship music and hymns. Even if you aren’t
particularly comfortable doing so.
Prepare for the unexpected.
Go to an endless stream of meetings: some that are life-giving
and mission focused, some that are really boring and pointless.
Prepare 10-25 minutes of new sermon material for every
Sunday, every funeral, every wedding. Rehearse said material, so that you sound
like you know what you’re talking about.
Encourage and empower the members to minister to one
another.
Communicate: through newsletters, bulletins, facebook,
telephone, email, face to face visits, twitter, and any other means possible.
Be the “Tech person” – update software and repair the church’s
computers.
Bury strangers, family members, and dearly beloved friends. Same
with weddings. Same with baptisms.
Teach. About theology, about church life, about social
issues, about liturgy and worship, about other denominations and religions.
Connect with wonderful colleagues to learn from one another,
encourage one another, and to hold one another accountable.
Participate in the ministry we share as denomination and a
synod.
Identify members who are doing amazing ministry without
you. Support them and get of their way.
Plan and teach Confirmation the confirmation program.
Every so often, re-read the Lutheran Confessions to remind yourself
what you are all about.
Find a time and place to worship when you are not leading
the worship service.
Figure out what inter-personal and systematic issues are
holding back the mission of the congregation, and help the leaders of the
congregation to name them and deal with them.
Sunday morning: Look in the eye of the member of the congregation who made you
(or your spouse) cry with their thoughtless (or intentional) meanness, and proclaim: “In obedience to the command of
Christ, I forgive you all your sins.”
Keep up with the membership rolls, attendance and communion
records.
Fold bulletins.
Respond graciously to interruptions in the “normal” (ha!)
work day.
Visit with members in their homes.
Help those who come knocking on the church door looking for
assistance.
Learn what needs an immediate response. Learn what can wait until
later.
Discard the day’s plan in order to respond to emergencies.
Even though you work nights and weekends, make sure there is plenty of time with family and loved ones.
Love the people. Love the people. Love the people.
What did we miss?
Ministry Where the Wild Things Are
I said anything I wanted because I don't believe in children. I don't believe in childhood. I don't believe that there's a demarcation. 'Oh you mustn't tell them that. You mustn't tell them that.' You tell them anything you want. Just tell them if it's true. If it's true you tell them. ~Maurice SendakWe divide our ministries in church. This is an adult Bible study, that is a children's curriculum. This is a Bible, that is a children's Bible. We are very clear. And in our clear divisions, we speak down to our young people. We hide the hard things of life from them. We hold back information about life, about faith, and about God.
[I am proud of what I got from my parents], a kind of fierce honesty, to not let the kid down, to not let the kid get punished, to not suffer the child to be dealt with in a boring, simpering, crushing-of-the-spirit kind of way. ~Maurice SendakHere is what we need: We need a ministry that takes place where the wild things are. As I have watched interviews with Maurice Sendak - this man whose stories helped to shape my childhood - I have been struck with his caustic honesty. He did not hold back, he did not pull any punches, he simply spoke the truth. And not just in his interviews; also in his books, which children happened to like.
Often in our clearly defined and divided children's and youth ministries we avoid the "hard topics." We talk about happiness and joy and celebration. But what about sadness, what about loneliness, what about death and dying and illness? Too often, they are avoided. We tell ourselves that we have to protect our children. We have to keep them safe. And somehow, we have gotten into our heads that talking about such things will somehow break them - that they can't handle it.
I think it is unnatural to think that there is such a thing as a blue-sky, white-clouded happy childhood for anybody. Childhood is a very, very tricky business of surviving it.We need a ministry that talks about the reality of life with all of God's children - some of whom are larger and some of whom are smaller. We need to stop speaking down to our young people, stop trying to protect them from the hard things of life. We simply need a ministry, which children happen to like.
We need a ministry that takes place where the wild things are.
Thank You
Given all the new people reading this little blog of mine, I feel like I should say something witty and clever. Now that you're here, I should have something witty and ironic for you to read ... something to follow up my "Crappy Pastors" post from earlier this week.
But I don't.
What I have to say is thank you. Thank you for reading these little rants of mine. Thank you for being people who care about your pastors. Pastors, thank you for taking care of one another.
"Get Rid of Your Crappy Pastor" came out of a particular frustration. Over the last few months, I have watched multiple pastor-friends get used and abused by congregations. It was made known that significant portions of the congregation no longer wanted them to serve as pastor, and their lives were made miserable. I have more than one pastor-friend who has been so miserable that they just quit - before having a new congregation lined up to work in.
So I wrote "Crappy Pastors." And it hit a nerve. I have watched it spread over the last two days. For the first day, 600 people an hour were reading my blog. That's right, in one hour more people looked at my blog than are members of the congregation I serve ... In the last week, I have had almost as many pageloads as there are people in Brenham, Texas. I am humbled.
Since writing this post, I had friends from around the country contact me saying, "I want to be a crappy pastor, so people will get rid of me like that!"
Shhh ... Here's the secret: We're all crappy pastors. Yup. I'm a crappy pastor. I regularly fail, let people down, say the wrong thing, forget important things, and hurt people's feelings. I am a crappy pastor. Pastors: go ahead and admit it. Trust me, it is freeing to face up to and be honest about our shortcomings.
And any pastor who can't make that admission is a crappy pastor because they are not aware of their shortcomings. We are all crappy pastors. The perfect pastor is like the Sasquatch: We've all heard of them, but no one has actually seen one.
We are all crappy pastors, because we are all sinful, imperfect, and flawed. We need the love, encouragement, and prayers of our colleagues and the congregations we serve.
And the congregations we serve? Yup, you guessed. They're crappy, too. Filled with sinful, imperfect, and flawed people who need the love, encouragement, and prayers of one another and the pastors who serve them.
The good news? Our God is head over heels in love with flawed, imperfect people. We are just God's type!
So thank you. Thank you for being people who love imperfect, crappy pastors. And thank you for being pastors who love imperfect, crappy people. And thank you for reading. One of these days another one of my posts might just be clever and strike a nerve.
But I don't.
What I have to say is thank you. Thank you for reading these little rants of mine. Thank you for being people who care about your pastors. Pastors, thank you for taking care of one another.
"Get Rid of Your Crappy Pastor" came out of a particular frustration. Over the last few months, I have watched multiple pastor-friends get used and abused by congregations. It was made known that significant portions of the congregation no longer wanted them to serve as pastor, and their lives were made miserable. I have more than one pastor-friend who has been so miserable that they just quit - before having a new congregation lined up to work in.
So I wrote "Crappy Pastors." And it hit a nerve. I have watched it spread over the last two days. For the first day, 600 people an hour were reading my blog. That's right, in one hour more people looked at my blog than are members of the congregation I serve ... In the last week, I have had almost as many pageloads as there are people in Brenham, Texas. I am humbled.
Since writing this post, I had friends from around the country contact me saying, "I want to be a crappy pastor, so people will get rid of me like that!"
Shhh ... Here's the secret: We're all crappy pastors. Yup. I'm a crappy pastor. I regularly fail, let people down, say the wrong thing, forget important things, and hurt people's feelings. I am a crappy pastor. Pastors: go ahead and admit it. Trust me, it is freeing to face up to and be honest about our shortcomings.
And any pastor who can't make that admission is a crappy pastor because they are not aware of their shortcomings. We are all crappy pastors. The perfect pastor is like the Sasquatch: We've all heard of them, but no one has actually seen one.
We are all crappy pastors, because we are all sinful, imperfect, and flawed. We need the love, encouragement, and prayers of our colleagues and the congregations we serve.
And the congregations we serve? Yup, you guessed. They're crappy, too. Filled with sinful, imperfect, and flawed people who need the love, encouragement, and prayers of one another and the pastors who serve them.
The good news? Our God is head over heels in love with flawed, imperfect people. We are just God's type!
So thank you. Thank you for being people who love imperfect, crappy pastors. And thank you for being pastors who love imperfect, crappy people. And thank you for reading. One of these days another one of my posts might just be clever and strike a nerve.
Get Rid of Your Crappy Pastor!
(This post has attracted a lot of attention since first published. Thank you. Please check out my follow up post as well.)
I simply cannot count the number of complaints that I get to hear about other pastors. I've responded to such complaints many ways over the years. The simply smile and nod, without actually agreeing -- or conversely, the serious head shake. I've advised the individuals to go and talk to their pastor about their complaint. I've even tried to convince the complainer that their pastor really is pretty good.
But enough of that. I know what most of these complainers want ... They want to get rid of their crappy pastor. The sooner the better. And so, without further ado, six steps to get rid of your crappy pastor and get a better pastor in your congregation.
1) Pray for your crappy pastor. I know, you really don't want to pray for your pastor right now, but give it a try. Pray for your pastor's preaching, for your pastor's life, even for the pastor's family. Prayer was one of those things that Jesus was kind of big on, so go ahead and give it a try.
2) Make sure your crappy pastor takes a day off. Really, you don't want your pastor doing all those things that annoy you any more than absolutely necessary. Make sure everyone knows when the pastor's day off is, and that doesn't call on that day. If there is a congregational event, or an emergency, or a wedding, or a funeral on the normal day off, let it be known that your pastor will be taking another day off to make up the time off.
3) Insist that your crappy pastor take every week of vacation in the contract. Many pastors leave unclaimed vacation days every year. Let's face it - you don't really want your pastor around anyway, so encourage him or her to take all of the allowed vacation. And make it easy decision for your crappy pastor to leave town! Line up volunteers to take care of all the work around the congregation so the pastor doesn't have to work extra hard before leaving and when coming home. Offer up your vacation home, or a gift card for a plane ticket out of town. Make sure everyone comes to worship, so the pastor doesn't feel guilty about leaving for a Sunday.
4) Continuing Education Events. Speaking of getting your crappy pastor out of town, by contract your pastor probably has continuing education time. Make sure that your pastor is attending lots of events with exciting speakers, great preachers, and innovative thinkers (you know, just so your pastor can see the ways in which he or she doesn't measure up). While you're at it, go ahead and increase the continuing education budget - make sure there is no barrier to your pastor getting away from your congregation and to these events.
5) Take over the tasks with which your pastor struggles. We all know that pastors should be good at everything in the parish - from administration to preaching, from visitation with the elderly to youth events. Chances are, your crappy pastor has some places where there are struggles. Hire an administrative assistant. Get the parents and other volunteers to coordinate and host the youth events. Get a group of volunteers together to visit with homebound members. There are all sorts of ways to make sure that your crappy pastor doesn't mess up these tasks that he or she is already struggling with.
6) Encourage your pastor to spend more time in prayer and reading. Now that you have freed up your pastor from all those tasks that were the worst trouble points, there is all sorts of extra time. You don't want him or her to jump right back into those tasks and mess them up, do you? Encourage them to go and read, or spend time with other local pastors, or spend more time intentionally in prayer.
There you go! It's foolproof!
If you do these six simple things, I guarantee you will get rid of your crappy pastor. Get your congregational leaders on board with this plan. Recruit the key people in the congregation to help you with it.
Pray for your pastor, make sure your crappy pastor takes all of the allotted vacation and days off, send your pastor to amazing continuing education events, recruit volunteers (or hire other staff) to fill in your pastor's weaknesses, and make sure your pastor is spending time praying, reading, and dreaming.
Yup, that's it. Do those things, and I guarantee you will stop complaining about your crappy pastor. You will hear better sermons. People will feel more ministered to. Exciting ideas will start to come from your council meetings.
And all these things without having to go through the search process and hire a new pastor!
Take these six steps, and watch your crappy pastor become the sort of pastor you have always wanted.
I simply cannot count the number of complaints that I get to hear about other pastors. I've responded to such complaints many ways over the years. The simply smile and nod, without actually agreeing -- or conversely, the serious head shake. I've advised the individuals to go and talk to their pastor about their complaint. I've even tried to convince the complainer that their pastor really is pretty good.
But enough of that. I know what most of these complainers want ... They want to get rid of their crappy pastor. The sooner the better. And so, without further ado, six steps to get rid of your crappy pastor and get a better pastor in your congregation.
1) Pray for your crappy pastor. I know, you really don't want to pray for your pastor right now, but give it a try. Pray for your pastor's preaching, for your pastor's life, even for the pastor's family. Prayer was one of those things that Jesus was kind of big on, so go ahead and give it a try.
2) Make sure your crappy pastor takes a day off. Really, you don't want your pastor doing all those things that annoy you any more than absolutely necessary. Make sure everyone knows when the pastor's day off is, and that doesn't call on that day. If there is a congregational event, or an emergency, or a wedding, or a funeral on the normal day off, let it be known that your pastor will be taking another day off to make up the time off.
3) Insist that your crappy pastor take every week of vacation in the contract. Many pastors leave unclaimed vacation days every year. Let's face it - you don't really want your pastor around anyway, so encourage him or her to take all of the allowed vacation. And make it easy decision for your crappy pastor to leave town! Line up volunteers to take care of all the work around the congregation so the pastor doesn't have to work extra hard before leaving and when coming home. Offer up your vacation home, or a gift card for a plane ticket out of town. Make sure everyone comes to worship, so the pastor doesn't feel guilty about leaving for a Sunday.
4) Continuing Education Events. Speaking of getting your crappy pastor out of town, by contract your pastor probably has continuing education time. Make sure that your pastor is attending lots of events with exciting speakers, great preachers, and innovative thinkers (you know, just so your pastor can see the ways in which he or she doesn't measure up). While you're at it, go ahead and increase the continuing education budget - make sure there is no barrier to your pastor getting away from your congregation and to these events.
5) Take over the tasks with which your pastor struggles. We all know that pastors should be good at everything in the parish - from administration to preaching, from visitation with the elderly to youth events. Chances are, your crappy pastor has some places where there are struggles. Hire an administrative assistant. Get the parents and other volunteers to coordinate and host the youth events. Get a group of volunteers together to visit with homebound members. There are all sorts of ways to make sure that your crappy pastor doesn't mess up these tasks that he or she is already struggling with.
6) Encourage your pastor to spend more time in prayer and reading. Now that you have freed up your pastor from all those tasks that were the worst trouble points, there is all sorts of extra time. You don't want him or her to jump right back into those tasks and mess them up, do you? Encourage them to go and read, or spend time with other local pastors, or spend more time intentionally in prayer.
There you go! It's foolproof!
If you do these six simple things, I guarantee you will get rid of your crappy pastor. Get your congregational leaders on board with this plan. Recruit the key people in the congregation to help you with it.
Pray for your pastor, make sure your crappy pastor takes all of the allotted vacation and days off, send your pastor to amazing continuing education events, recruit volunteers (or hire other staff) to fill in your pastor's weaknesses, and make sure your pastor is spending time praying, reading, and dreaming.
Yup, that's it. Do those things, and I guarantee you will stop complaining about your crappy pastor. You will hear better sermons. People will feel more ministered to. Exciting ideas will start to come from your council meetings.
And all these things without having to go through the search process and hire a new pastor!
Take these six steps, and watch your crappy pastor become the sort of pastor you have always wanted.
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