In honor of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I give you the Pirate Creed:
We believe in one God, the Almighty Admiral,
Maker o’ heaven and ‘arth,
and o’ all things natural and ghostly.
We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
T’only Son o’ God, says I, eternally begotten o’ the Admiral,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, nar made, o’ one Bein’wi’ the Father.
Through him all things t’were made.
Far us and far arr salvation
he opened the hatch o’ heav’n
and dropped into the hold:
by the pow’r o’ the Holy Ghost
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made a swabbie.
Fer arr sake he was keel-hauled
by that the scurvy dog, Pontius Pilate;
and was sent t’ Davy Jones’ locker.
On the third day he came back in accardance with the book;
he ascended into heaven
and be seated at the right hand o’ the Admiral.
He will come again in glory t’judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will ha’e no end.
We believe in the Holy Ghost, the Lord, the giver o’ life,
who proceeds from the Admiral and the Cap’n.
With them two, he be worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one dunkin’ far the forgiveness o’ sins.
We look far the resurrection o’ the dead,
and the life o’ the world t’come.
So says one, so says us all. Aye aye
(The Pirate Creed comes from the Pirate Eucharist (pdf), composed by fictitious detective and liturgist Hayden Konig, in Mark Schwetzer's wonderful "Liturgical Mysteries". This series of books should be read be everyone who loves liturgy, snark, and
wonderful inspiring hilarious prose. Pirate Creed used here with permission.)